


Everything That Matters

by MantisJean



Category: Bridgerton (TV), Bridgerton Series - Julia Quinn
Genre: Family, Feelings Realization, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Shooting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-27
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-03-12 15:34:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 29,480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29012880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MantisJean/pseuds/MantisJean
Summary: Colin follows a certain red haired woman to a bad part of town, he was not prepared for what he found there and she was not prepared for the actions that followed this encounter. Many characters face incredibly difficult choices, but what happens when one decides to share a secret that is not their own? Can they come back from this?I used inspiration from both the Netflix series and the Julia Quinn novels. I was inspired by how Colin found out Penelope's secret and I wanted to take a stab at writing a different way in which it happened. I tried my best to keep the setting in the early 1800s like the show and books, but there may be some word choices that don't fit.
Relationships: Colin Bridgerton/Penelope Featherington
Comments: 43
Kudos: 238





	1. What Was She Thinking?

**Author's Note:**

> I of course don't own any of the characters in this piece. I took inspiration from Julia Quinn's amazing characters and added my own thoughts to them. I encourage any feedback you may have on the piece.

The last encounter Colin had with a certain red headed woman was eating away at him. He did not handle the situation very well the day he caught Penelope reading his journal. She was correct that he had left it open on the table and he couldn’t blame her for her curiosity. To be honest, he probably would have done the same thing if he were in her shoes.

Colin called for the carriage so he could pick Penelope up and go for ride. He walked across the street and was about to knock on the Featherington’s front door when he caught a glimpse of a red headed woman get in a rented carriage. What the hell did she think she was doing? It was not safe for a young woman to travel in a rented carriage alone. Colin quickly ran to his own carriage and instructed the driver to follow her carriage.

“Do not lose them or it will be your head.” Colin could hear the anger in his voice and he did not like it.

They rode on for what felt like forever. Colin could see that they were in a secluded part of the city. All of the businesses were laborers. He looked around to get a sense of where they were and that’s when Colin noticed the printers.

_“She better not be… Shit. Come on Penelope. What are you doing?” He thought._

Colin ordered his driver to halt their carriage. He didn’t want to spook her before he got the answered he needed. He watched Penelope enter the printers. He quickly exited his carriage and ran up to her rented carriage, “Leave. Now.” The carriage drove off and Colin waited for Penelope just beyond the printers’ door.

Penelope exited the printers only a few moments after she entered. She couldn’t believe her carriage had left. She hadn’t taken that long did she? How was she supposed to get home? She heard footsteps nearby and quickly turned around to see who was there, “Colin? What are you doing here? How did you find… Did you follow me?” She asked.

“Penelope Featherington, do you know how extremely dangerous it is for a young woman to travel alone? Especially in these parts of the town. You could have been hurt? What were you thinking?” Colin was angry and frustrated with her, but he was also relived that he was the one that followed her and not someone else.

“Did you send my carriage away? Colin, I’m not as defenseless as you think me to be. Besides, I’ve been traveling to these parts…” Penelope stopped herself before she let out that she was Lady Whistledown.

“No, don’t stop on my account. Please continue to tell me that you’ve been traveling alone to these parts of town for what? Weeks? Months? How long Penelope?” Colin’s anger was growing and Penelope didn’t like this side of him.

“You wouldn’t understand.” Penelope turned away from him because she couldn’t bare to look him in the eye. “This is the only thing I have in my life that I can control. This is my escape and I’m rather good at it.”

“Penelope, Lady Whistledown, really? What were you thinking?” He reached for her, but she shrugged him off. That stung. Penelope had never rejected him like this before.

“I was thinking that my words would make a difference, and that deep down I would matter because of my words. My words would be noticed, I would be noticed. Even if people didn’t know it was me.” She turned to face him so she could look him in the eyes. “Colin, no one notices me. No one pays me any attention, so no one will ever figure out that I’m her. I can write these columns and stay in the shadows. I’m good at staying in the shadows.” Penelope had tears in her eyes. She didn’t like to talk about this, especially not with the love of her life.

Her words hurt him. He never realized she felt that way. He noticed her. Maybe not as soon as he could of, but he definitely noticed her now. She mattered to him. She had to know that.

“Penelope, I –” he started, but suddenly heard shouts and rapid footsteps coming from a down the street. “Move,” he shouted at her. He grabbed her hand and directed her toward his carriage. She quickly put her hood up to conceal her identity, she wasn’t about to let another person figure out who she was today.

“STOP!!” Shouts came from the direction of the footsteps. “GET BACK HERE!!”

“Quick, get in the carriage,” Colin ordered. He heard loud bangs ring out from behind and couldn’t believe they were being shot at. Colin saw that Penelope tripped over her cape, probably got startled from the gunshots and he helped her into the carriage. He ordered the driver to go and took a last look at the men with the guns. _Bow Street Runners. The Queen?_

“Colin,” Penelope said, her voice quite a bit shaky. Most likely. Freaked out by those men.

“Penelope, could there be a way the Queen figured –” Colin started, but as she turned around to face her he stopped. She had gone pale and he noticed the blood on her hand. His eyes shot up to her face. “Pen? Penelope, where? Where are you hurt?”

Penelope just starred at her hand. All the blood was enough to make her pass out, but she struggled to find her ground. She looked back to Colin. He was her anchor. “Colin, I’m… I’m… scared…” Penelope opened her mouth to say something else, but no words came. She kept her gaze with Colin and he sprung into action.

“FASTER!” he yelled to the driver. He reached for Penelope’s cloak and carefully removed it so he could find the source of the blood. “Penelope, I need you to keep breathing. Take slow easy breaths. You’ve been shot and I’m going to need to put pressure on this so you don’t bleed out.”

She tried to keep her breaths slow and easy, but with every inhale she felt the pain in her shoulder. Colin managed to lie her down in the carriage and placed his hands on her shoulder. She winced when he applied the pressure, but if he didn’t do this she would bleed out and then he would lose her. He couldn’t lose her.

“Col… Colin, if I d.. die…” Penelope caught his attention with that word. She was in shock and could barely get her words out. Honestly, Colin was in a bit of shock himself, but he had to be the one to take charge.

“Don’t you dare. Don’t you say that. You’re not going to die. I’m not going to let that happen. Please, just focusing on your breathing.” He couldn’t take the time to think about losing her right now. His only priority was saving her life.

“Colin, if I.. I die… you mus… must know I… I lov…” she struggled to let the words out. She knew she loved him and she needed him to know if she were going to die tonight that she did, but the pain was making everything spin and she couldn’t get the right words out.

“Save your breath, we will talk when you’re healed up.” He knew the words she was going to say, and he wanted to say them too, but he didn’t want them to come out like this. Like he was only saying them because she could die tonight. _No!_ He was not going to think like that. He couldn’t think like that. Colin continued to apply pressure on her shoulder and continued to talk to her so she would stay awake, but he wasn’t sure how he was going to protect her from this.

They arrived at the family home moments later. He looked outside the carriage to make sure no one was around. Luckily it was early evening and most people were already at their evening events by this time. He carefully picked Penelope up and carried her insider the Bridgerton home and went straight to the drawing room. He hadn’t even noticed Eloise sitting in there when he arrived, he was too preoccupied with the red headed woman in his arms. He carefully laid Penelope on the open couch and frantically looked around for something to make the bleeding stop. He swirled around and locked eyes with Eloise.

“Colin, what are you doing?” Eloise asked. She made her way over to where Colin and Penelope were in what looked like a rather compromising position. “Colin, you have to be teasing. Really, with my best friend.”

Colin tried to say something but no words escaped his mouth. Eloise bent over his shoulder and gasped at the sight before her eyes. The red blood stains on Penelope’s yellow dress stuck out like a sore thumb. She was going to kill Colin for this.


	2. What Happened? Lady Who?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things get heated at the Bridgerton family home. Lives hang in the balance and they are looking for any help they can get. In Colin's words himself, "She cannot die, not now."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank those that took the time to read my first chapter. Again, I tried my best to keep within the time period of the 1800s with the research I could do. Enjoy this next chapter of the story and again I look forward to any feedback you may have for me.

“Oh, my dear, what the hell happened to her?” Eloise asked.

“Eloise, can you please just help me. I’ll explain it when she’s fine,” Colin said, his voice was shaky and while she could understand why, she couldn’t fathom how this happened.

“Colin, she needs a doctor, not whatever the hell you think you can do.” Eloise reached out to touch her brother’s shoulder. “Colin, are you even listening to me?”

“Eloise, not now. I just need to stop the bleeding and she will be fine.” He brushed his sister’s touch off. He had to focus.

“Brother, she _is_ not fine. She’s barely awake the way it is and she’s not going to be fine without a doctor. Are you mad?” Eloise heard a low moan come from Penelope and she knew she needed to act quickly.

Colin was delusional if he thought he could save Penelope without a doctor. Eloise couldn’t let him do this to her best friend. Eloise ran out of the room and straight to Anthony’s office. She could hear voices in the room and Anthony didn’t like interruptions when he was working, but Eloise couldn’t care less at this time. She threw the door open and found not one, but two brothers in the room.

“Eloise, what are –” Anthony started.

“Anthony, it’s bad. Penelope is injured and Colin won’t listen to –”

Anthony and Benedict were out of the office before Eloise could even finish her statement. They were several steps ahead of her, but Eloise did her best to catch up to them. Anthony burst through the drawing room door. Benedict was right on his heels and Eloise trailing behind. Anthony caught sight of his brother and did not like what he saw. Penelope’s almost lifeless body sprawled out on the couch and his brother’s body hunched over her. He tried not to focus on the amount of blood pooling around her upper body.

“Colin, what the hell do you think you’re doing? Penelope needs a real doctor. This is not going to help her.” There was no response. “COLIN!”

“Anthony, please, just help her,” Colin pleaded with him.

Penelope had broken out in a sweat by now and everyone could hear the pain in her moans, things were getting worse for her. Anthony made note of the situation and began making orders. It came natural for him to bark orders at his younger siblings, but he wasn’t happy about doing it in this situation.

“Benedict, make a call into the doctor right away, take the carriage and go get him if you have to. Eloise call down to the staff. We need warm water, clean cloths, and a bit of whiskey.”

Benedict and Eloise did as they were asked without a question. Anthony made his way closer to Penelope and Colin. He knew he needed to take over for Colin and make sure Colin got out of the way when the doctor arrived.

“Colin, I know you’re scared, but if I’m going to help her you have to tell me what happened. I also need to take a look at that wound.” Anthony placed his hand on his brother shoulder.

“This is my fault. I did this to her,” Colin said.

“You shot her, brother? Is that what you’re telling me?” Anthony asked.

“I got her shot, so it’s as if I did it myself, isn’t it?” Colin replied. If Colin had not followed Penelope, she may have gotten away without being shot. His protectiveness over her got the best of him, he was trying to make sure she was safe and somehow, he believes his actions caused this.

“Colin, we will talk about the how later, but right now we need to focus on her. Let me look at the wound.”

Anthony knelt down next to his brother and slowly lifted his hand from Penelope’s shoulder. It appeared that the bullet went straight through, so Anthony put pressure back on the wound. He couldn’t be certain, but he thought this was a good thing. No bullet would have to be extricated from her, so as long as he could keep the bleeding down, she should be fine. The doctor would have to give the final word, so he kept his thoughts to himself.

“What are you doing?” Colin asked.

“We need to keep pressure on the wound until the doctor arrives and I can tell you’re exhausted. I know I won’t get you to leave this room, but I do need you out of the way. You’re too close to her and I’m afraid your emotions will get in the way.”

“Anthony, she _cannot_ die, not now.” Colin moved to the side and let his brother take his place above Penelope’s body. He examined the blood on his hands and saw her pale frame in front of him. He knew in that moment that he could not live with himself if he lost her. She was the love of his life, and for it to take a life threatening event for him to realize that was incredibly stupid on his part.

“My lord, this is all we had clean at the moment. I do hope they will do.” A member of the staff came running in holding a small stack of cloths, with another member right behind her carrying the water and whiskey. Eloise trailed behind. She didn’t want to get in the way, but she didn’t want to leave her best friend either.

Anthony immediately grabbed a few cloths and placed them between his hand and the wound. He applied even pressure to wound, but he didn’t want to push too hard. He placed an additional cloth underneath her shoulder as the bullet travelled straight through.

“Colin, place a warm cloth on her head and get her to drink some whiskey,” Anthony said.

“But brother,” Colin interrupted.

“The whiskey will help with the pain. She’s in a rather lot of pain right now and anything to subside the pain we must do. Now, get her to drink that.”

Colin rung a cloth so it was warm, but not drenched in water and placed it on Penelope’s pale white forehead. He grabbed the whiskey and reluctantly brought the lip of the bottle to her mouth. He had to coax her into drinking it, but he was able to get a little bit in her. He would do anything to try and take her pain away. He wished he was the one that had gotten shot instead.

Footsteps could be heard running down the hallway, which could only mean that help was finally there. Benedict came rushing in with the doctor and let him get immediately to work.

“Lord Bridgerton, Mister Bridgerton can I please ask you to step aside so I may work,” the doctor asked.

“I’m not leaving her side, she needs –” Colin objected.

“Lord Bridgerton, I would advise you to get your brother out of the way or I won’t be able to give Miss Featherington the care she needs,” the doctor interrupted.

“Colin, you need to let the doctor take care of her and you need to get yourself cleaned up. Come with me, now.” Anthony practically had to drag Colin out of the room into the hallway. “I know you want to be with her, but your presence is only slowing the work down. We can wait here until we know she is fine, but then you need to tell me what the hell happened.”

Anthony stood between Colin and the doorway to make sure he didn’t get in the way, but he also wanted to make sure he could still hear what was going on. He could hear the doctor speaking with Penelope, so that had to be a good sign.

“Miss Featherington, can you hear me?” the doctor asked.

Penelope let out a quiet “yes”, but that was all she could manage. She was in too much pain to say anything else and she didn’t want to strain the last bit of strength she had left.

“Maid, can you please come over here and help me.” The doctor motioned to one of the maids that was standing nearby. “I’m going to need you cut Miss Featherington’s dress, but just enough to expose the wound to me. It doesn’t appear to have hit anything major, so I’m going to disinfect the area and stitch her up. I’m not going to lie, so I need you to know that this is going to be hard for the young lady and she’s most likely going to reach out to you. Be ready for that.”

The maid did as she was asked. She cut Penelope’s sleeve off and carefully pulled it off. It revealed her upper right shoulder and the upper right part of her chest. The doctor pulled her dress down just a bit more. This was not the time to be modest and the only male around was the doctor, so it was nothing he hadn’t seen before. Benedict had joined his brothers in the hallway as soon as the doctor started giving orders to the maid.

“Miss Featherington, this is going to sting, but it’s the only way to prevent an infection and allow me to stitch the wounds up.” The doctor prepared the disinfectant and motioned for the maid to grab Penelope’s hand. “On the count of three. One. Two. Three.”

Penelope let out a scream. It wasn’t a loud one, but it was enough to make Colin lung toward the door. It took everything Anthony and Benedict had to hold him back. They did not need him getting in the way. Eloise took the place of the maid and she reassured the doctor she would do everything he asked. Anthony took note of this and made the choice to remove Colin from the situation.

“Doctor, is she going to be alright?” Anthony frantically asked.

“Lord Bridgerton, Miss Featherington should be fine once I get these wounds stitched up. She’s going to need a lot of rest and care though.”

Anthony accepted that answer and pushed Colin toward the office. “Move, now.” Anthony’s tone was slightly harsh, but given the situation he could have been harsher with his brother.

Colin reluctantly moved to the office and collapsed in one of the chairs. Anthony and Benedict followed in behind him. Benedict made sure the door was closed and Anthony sat in the chair next to Colin.

“I understand you’re in a difficult situation, but you need to start talking now. Who did this? Why did this happen?” Anthony asked.

“There was an ambush on our carriage. It was Bow Street Runners,” Colin answered.

“The Queen?” Benedict asked. “Why were her people after you? How could you put Penelope in that danger?”

“They weren’t after me.” Colin couldn’t bring himself to spill her secret just yet, it wasn’t his secret to tell and he wasn’t sure what help it could do.

“Brother, why would the Queen send anyone after Penelope. This story doesn’t add up,” Anthony asked.

“Where did this happen? Could you have just been in the wrong place?” Benedict suggested.

“Colin, you need to start talking, now or we can’t help.” Anthony wanted to yell at him, but if he were too harsh he wouldn’t get anywhere.

“No, they were after her and she told me why. But if I tell you, you have to promise me that it will not leave this room.” Colin got up from his chair and started to pace the room. He made the quick decision that given Penelope’s current state, her secret was the only thing that could make his brothers understand and possibly come up with some kind of solution to this horrid event.

“You have our word. Whatever you say next will not leave this room.” Anthony turned toward Benedict, “Understood?” Benedict nodded.

Colin took a deep breath and reassured himself that this was going to help Penelope, “She’s Lady Whistledown.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this addition to the story. I have a few more chapters planned out and the next chapter is almost completed, so I'm hoping to get that posted within the next day or so.
> 
> Again, please leave your feedback in the comments.


	3. Start Talking.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The eldest brothers take charge of the situation at hand, but they weren't prepared for their mother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've come to the conclusion that I'm shit at writing summaries and I want to apologize for that. I've tried my best. This next chapter is slightly different that the previous two and slightly longer. I wanted to try my hand at writing two separate scenes in one chapter, so here it is. Please tell me what you think.

Benedict and Anthony looked at each other, then both instinctively looked at Colin. They knew he was telling the truth and they could see that it was hard for him to tell them this. Colin buried his face in his hands and sat back down. Pacing the room was doing nothing and he knew Anthony was not going to allow him his exit. Colin needed to give him answers.

“Benedict, can you go see if the doctor needs anything else. I need to speak with Colin, alone,” Anthony said.

Benedict nodded and made his exit. He kind of wanted to be a fly on the wall for that conversation, but he understood it was already a difficult choice for Colin to spill Penelope’s secret and he didn’t want to make things worse. Besides if there were things he were to know, Anthony would make them known later. So Benedict made his way back to the drawing room to speak with the doctor and see how things were going. Upon entering the room, he saw Eloise was still by Penelope’s side and the doctor was just finishing up. Eloise caught sight of her brother and motioned for a maid to take her place at Penelope’s side momentarily.

“Benedict, the doctor needs to speak with Anthony. Where is he?” she asked.

“He’s preoccupied at the moment. I’ll speak with the doctor. You can go back to Pen, she’ll need you.” Benedict prepared himself for what the doctor could possibly have to say and took a deep breath. “How is she doing? What can we expect after this?” He asked.

“Mister Bridgerton, Miss Featherington is in a great deal of pain and she will most likely be out for a few days, but I wouldn’t worry too much about that. It is to be expected after such a traumatic event as this. I would be more worried if an infection were to start.” He reached into his medical bad and pulled out a vial. “This is opium, a medicine to help with the pain, but I would only advise it be used when absolutely necessary. I’ve also supplied your maids with some bandages and have instructed them on what to look out for in case of infection and when to clean the wound. I assume you will have Miss Featherington brought back to her own home, so you may –” the doctor rattled on but took a brief pause to allow Benedict to comment.

“She will be staying with us, so there is no need to inform the Featherington staff about care. I can assure you she will receive the proper care she needs here. Can I walk you out?” Benedict motioned to the door and escorted the doctor out.

“Mister Bridgerton, she should have her privacy though, so I would suggest moving her to a separate room before others come home. Also, I would suggest your family be on high alert to ensure nothing else happens like this.”

“I can assure you that we have already taken light of the situation and have made the proper preparations.” Benedict lied, he knew Anthony knew the gravity of the situation and he would eventually come up with a plan to deal with it, but Benedict wasn’t sure just yet what that plan was.

“Give my regards to Lord Bridgerton, and inform him I will be by for a visit in a few nights to check Miss Featherington’s progress.” Benedict shook the doctor’s hand and bid him farewell.

So many thoughts rang through Benedict’s mind; the fact he needed to get a room prepared for Penelope, he wanted to know what Anthony’s plan was going forward, and he wanted to know why Penelope did it. The last thought rattled his brain. How could she put herself in so much danger like this? Benedict knew she didn’t really float to the foreground among the girls her age, but she wasn’t a cast out either, at least not to the Bridgertons.

The more he thought about it, the more it sort of made sense. Penelope of course got invited to all the social gatherings, but besides for the Bridgerton family she went unnoticed. She’s the fly on the wall Benedict wanted to be right now in that office. He chuckled to himself, “Bloody hell, she’s good.” He had to admit Penelope had a good thing going for her. She never wrote anything that was untrue, everyone thought the same as her, she was just bold enough to write about it and publish. Benedict could think about how brilliant Penelope actually was with this whole Whistledown thing the rest of the night, but he had other pressing matters he needed to take care of.

Benedict went to instruct the staff to prepare a room for Penelope. He knew Anthony would not want to send her back to the Featherington house. He asked that the room next to Eloise’s be prepared for their guest.

The maids that had been in the room with the doctor were making their way downstairs when Benedict ran into them. He was still holding the vial of opium and had to make sure it got to the maid in charge of Penelope’s care. “Pardon me, I’m told that you’ve been instructed about the care of Penelope.” They both nodded, “The doctor gave me this vial, it’s a pain medicine and he’s said to only use it when absolutely necessary.” They nodded again and took the vial, “Please inform me when Penelope’s room is ready.”

Benedict made his way back to the drawing room. It broke his heart to see Penelope hurt, but the way Eloise was handling the situation also tore at his heart. She was knelt down at Penelope’s side holding her hand as she slept, but Benedict took notice of how exhausted Eloise also looked. He wanted to tell his sister about the secret, about how brilliant her best friend was, but he held his tongue. The secret was not his to share.

“Eloise, I can call for a maid to take your place. You look exhausted and should get some rest.” He knew he was wasting his breath because Eloise was not going anywhere, but he had to try.

“I’m alright, brother, really. I can’t leave her side right now. What if she wakes up and I’m not here to help her?” Eloise never took her eyes off her best friend.

“Very well. The staff is getting the room next to yours ready for her right now, so she won’t be leaving this house anytime soon and you can stay close to her.”

“How did this happen? I want to know who hurt her.” Eloise questioned.

Benedict wanted to blurt out what he knew, but he had to trust the process and let Anthony handle this. “I cannot say, as I do not know. Anthony kicked me out of the office to talk with Colin. I can only assume he’s getting those answers right now.” It wasn’t a complete lie; Anthony did kick him out.

“You didn’t listen through the door to figure it out?” she asked.

“If this were any other time, you know I probably would have, but this is serious and I had to take care of other things. Besides you know Anthony will tell us everything when he knows what he’s going to do about it.”

“Mister Bridgerton, we have the room ready for Miss Featherington. Shall we move her now?” The butler had entered the room to address them.

“Thank you, Humboldt, I’ll take care of getting her moved. Can you please make sure to it that this room is cleaned up before my mother gets home with the children?” Benedict didn’t want his mother coming home to a room full of blood and discarded bandages.

“Of course, Mister Bridgerton, I’ll call for a maid to get on this right away.” Humboldt made his exit.

“Eloise, why don’t you get yourself cleaned up before mother comes home. I will move Pen up to the room and stay with her until you return.” It was more of an order than a question and Eloise reluctantly did as she was told.

“Promise me you won’t leave her side.”

“I promise I won’t leave her side. Now go clean yourself up.”

Eloise left the room quickly so she could change her clothes and get ready to spend the night with Penelope. Meanwhile, Benedict carefully moved Penelope up to her prepared room. He didn’t want to harm her any more than she already was, so he took his time with this.

_Meanwhile in the Office_

“What were you doing following Pen to begin with?” Anthony asked.

“I went to her house to speak with her about a fight we had the other day, but before I could knock on the door, I saw her get in a rented carriage. It felt odd, so I followed her to make sure she wasn’t in any trouble.” Colin kept thinking that maybe if he hadn’t of followed her, she might have come back unharmed, “Anthony, I never thought anything like this could happen. If I would have just waited here for her to return home, this might not have happened.”

“Colin, it sounds like the Bow Street Runners were waiting for her, or at least Lady Whistledown, and something like this might have happened anyways. At least with you there, she had someone to bring her home.” Anthony still couldn’t believe the Queen had set her goons on Lady Whistledown. Did she hate her that much that she wanted her dead?

“There’s another odd thing though. If they were there to catch Lady Whistledown why did it take them so long to show up? Pen would have been in her carriage and headed off if I hadn’t sent it away.”

“They could have been waiting somewhere on the exit path to ambush the carriage and when they saw it was empty, they returned to the building to see how they missed her. I truly can’t answer that question and I don’t think we are going to get any true answers to these questions unless we speak with the Queen.” Anthony speculated.

“Yes, brother, let’s just go up and speak with the Queen. That will be the easiest thing to do,” Colin responded. Anthony wasn’t too amused with his sarcasm though.

“ _We_ can’t just go up and speak with the Queen, but maybe our dear sister can give us some insight.”

“What could Daphne do? I don’t think the Queen is too friendly with her after she rejected her nephew.”

“Not that sister. Hasn’t Eloise been looking into the identity of Lady Whistledown since this whole thing started. I think I overheard her once speaking with Pen about Lady Whistledown and the Queen.”

“I can’t tell Eloise her best friend’s biggest secret tonight. She’s already been through too much with the events that took place today,” Colin argued. “I just need to check on Pen right now, I need to see for myself that she’s alright.”

“You love her, don’t you?” Anthony had been noticing Colin’s body language all night and something was off.

“She’s like a sister to our family, of course I care for her. We’ve known the Featheringtons for a long time.” Colin tried to avoid the question.

“Colin, we aren’t blind. Everyone can see that Pen has had feelings for you for years now. You’ve had to have guessed that and from what I’ve seen tonight you care an awful lot about her.” Anthony couldn’t let Colin deny his feelings any longer, “Don’t tell me there is nothing there between you two. I’m not blind, you know.”

“I…I –” Colin started to formulate his answer. Of course he cared for Penelope. She had been a constant in his life for many years. Had everyone really saw something between the two of them. Pen had always had a soft spot for him in her heart, he knew that. Every time she would blush in front of him, or accept his offers to dance, he could see it in her eyes. He always thought it was a young crush and that she would grow out of it. He never thought he would develop the same feelings for her, but here he was on the verge of a complete breakdown because of her.

Before Colin could really give Anthony answer, they heard talking and giggling outside the office.

“Shit, what time is it?” Colin asked. “Anthony, mother can’t see me like this. Gregory and Hyacinth can’t see me like this. This will freak them out.”

“Mother is going to figure it out eventually when she sees the status of her drawing room. Wait here a moment and I will see if the coast is clear.” Anthony opened the office door and listened for footsteps. He heard footsteps retreating upstairs and didn’t see anyone outside the office. If Colin was going to sneak away it was now or never. “Colin, quick, go to the kitchen and get cleaned up there. I don’t want you to risk running into anyone upstairs right now.”

Colin quickly exited the office and headed toward the kitchen. Anthony followed him out and wanted to head to the drawing room to see what kind of mess he had to deal with there.

“Colin? Anthony? What are you two sneaking off to do?” Violet Bridgerton asked of her two sons.

“ _Shit,”_ they both whispered. How did they miss their mother? They remained frozen in place, facing away from their mother.

“Someone better answer me.” Violet’s tone turned to almost anger with that statement.

Colin looked to Anthony for an answer. Anthony turned to face his mother, “Well you’re going to find out eventually. We might as well just tell you what happened.”

“Anthony, is everything alright? What has gotten into you two?” Violet glanced at her two sons. Colin still had his back to his mother. He wanted to run and hide everything from her, but he knew Anthony was right, she would figure it all out. She always did.

Colin slowly turned to face his mother and said, “Before you freak out, I want you to know it’s not my blood.” Violet looked down at her son and gasped at the sight she saw. Colin’s hands and shirt were stained with blood, some of it had dried by now, but some of it was still fresh.

“COLIN BRIDGERTON!” She yelled. “What have you done?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this addition to the story. I know some questions from the comments haven't been completely answered yet, but I promise you I'm working on it. I want to get them more fined tuned before I reveal them. As always please tell me what you think in the comments. I appreciated all feedback I get.


	4. Shattered Pieces.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Colin is put on the spot several times tonight. How we he handle it and will his mother forgive him? Questions are answers, and more questions arise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I need to apologize in advance for this chapter. Although some questions are answered, some remain unanswered and more are thrown into the bunch. I promise that every question will be answered, just be patient. I want to thank everyone that has stuck with me thus far and have liked this story. I look forward to reading what everyone has to say about the story and I do appreciate any thoughts you have on where the story may be going. If you have suggestion, please leave them in the comments.

“Mother, don’t worry. He’s fine and I’ve already handled the situation,” Anthony said before Colin could dig himself into a deeper hole.

“Anthony Bridgerton, he is certainly not fine if he so chooses to come home looking like that,” Violet responded.

“But I didn’t come home like this, all of this, well the majority of this happened here.” Colin found himself blurting out. Why did he blurt that out? Anthony jabbed him in the ribs to shut him up.

“You mean to tell me that the person whose blood is on your hands is here? You brought a massacre to our home?” Violet looked between her two sons waiting for any kind of response, but they remained silent. “Whose blood is on your hands?”

Anthony and Colin looked at each other waiting for the other to say something, but they still remained silent. There was no good way to tell her that Penelope’s blood was on his hands. Their mother would have their heads.

“One of you better tell me what the –” Violet was cut off by Humboldt.

“Lady Bridgerton, pardon the intrusion, but one Lady Featherington to see you. She said it’s urgent,” Humboldt said.

Anthony and Colin again looked at each other and then to their mother. She had confusion written all over her face and then anger. “Don’t move.” She instructed her sons and they did not dare move a muscle.

Violet followed Humboldt to greet Portia Featherington. If this night couldn’t get any worse, now she had to see what was so urgent Portia knocked on their door so late. “Lady Featherington, Portia,” she corrected herself. They had known each other quite a while and had dropped all the formalities in private, “What can I do you for this late at night?” she asked, it was nearly midnight.

“I apologize for this late call, but I’m afraid something horrid has happened to Penelope. She has not come home and I don’t know where she is. Has Eloise seen her?” Portia asked. Penelope was her daughter so it wasn’t too shocking to see some care from her, but still slightly shocking because she tends to not pay attention to her youngest daughter.

“I can assure you I do not know, but I will call on Eloise right away,” Violet answered. She led Portia through the doorway, right to where her sons were waiting. Violet noticed Anthony step in front of Colin, almost as if to shield his presence in front of Portia.

“Oh my,” Portia exclaimed. She caught sight of the two Bridgerton boys and covered her mouth as she gasped.

“I apologize for them, we are still handling this situation,” Violet said. “But while we're here I can ask them. Colin, Anthony, Portia has come looking for Penelope. She has not come home yet. Have either of you seen her?”

Colin looked at Anthony to answer. He had no idea how they were going to tell their mother Penelope was upstairs with a gunshot wound, let alone break the news to Portia herself.

“What is the matter with you two? I’m well aware we still have to discuss this matter,” Violet said motioning to the state of Colin’s appearance. “But Penelope is missing and we owe Portia an answer if we…if we…” Violet saw the quick exchanges between her sons’ eyes and things were starting to make sense to her.

Anthony noticed her pause and locked eyes with her. He knew his mother had figured it out and just nodded to confirm her suspicions.

“Colin Bridgerton!” Violet yelled and everyone looked at her. “Are you to tell me that the blood on your hands is Penelope’s?”

“Oh my, oh no,” Portia let out a small gasp.

“Yes, mother, it’s hers,” Colin quietly answered.

“Where is she?” Violet asked. “Take us to her. Now!”

“I was just going to check on her. She’s in the drawing room,” Anthony answered.

“Lord Bridgerton,” Humboldt interrupted. “You may want to check the room next to Miss Eloise, it was prepared for her. I’m unaware if they moved her yet.”

“Thank you, Humboldt, we will check the drawing room first on our way upstairs,” Violet said.

“Mother, allow us to go ahead of you to check,” Anthony said. He pulled Colin up the stairs without waiting for a response from their mother.

“Violet, that was a massive amount of blood. Can anyone survive that?” Portia asked.

“Oh, Portia, I’m sure if Humboldt had a room prepared for her, she will be fine. Let us not rush to any conclusions until we know for ourselves.” Violet grabbed Portia’s hand. She didn’t know what else she could do to comfort her. She saw Portia’s eyes start to tear up and she had to admit she’d never seen her cry before. “Shall we find your daughter now?”

Portia nodded and they headed up the stairs. They found Anthony and Colin just outside the drawing room speaking with Benedict. Violet also noticed the doors to the drawing room closed, which they never were. She would have to deal with that later, first was Penelope.

“Anthony, what is going on?” Violet looked at her eldest son with those eyes that said enough was enough.

“Mother, Lady Featherington.” Benedict greeted them.

“Mother, Benedict was just filling us in on what the doctor told him. Benedict please continue,” Anthony instructed.

“Of course. Penelope suffered a gunshot wound to her right shoulder. It went right through though and it did not hit anything major. She did lose quite a bit of blood, but the doctor was able to stitch the wound up and he has instructed our maids on what care should be taken for Penelope. He said she may be out for a few days, but it’s to be expected given the trauma she has suffered.” Benedict knew that was a lot to take in for anyone, especially his mother and Portia. “Eloise has insisted she stay by Penelope’s side tonight and she’s with her right now. Penelope is sleeping right now, but if you’d like to see her you can”

“Portia?” Violet asked.

“Yes, of…of course, please.” Portia wasn’t quite sure what she was in for when the saw her, but she had to prepare herself for the worse picture she could think of.

Benedict led them all to the room where Penelope and Eloise were. As they entered the room, they saw Penelope lying on the bed, she looked almost ghostly. Eloise had placed a chair next to the bed so she could be by her best friend’s side the whole night. She was leaning on the bed holding Penelope’s hand. She didn’t want to take her eyes off her friend because she feared she’d lose her if she did.

“Eloise, honey. I think we might want to give Portia a moment with Penelope,” Violet quietly said. Eloise looked at her mother and wanted to protest, but she knew Portia had a right to be with her daughter. Eloise slowly got up from the chair and allowed Portia the spot. “Portia if you need anything, we will be right outside. Please stay as long as you need. Children, let us give them some time.”

Violet escorted her children out of the room and motioned for all of them to move down the hallway. As soon as they were far enough away from the room and she was certain Portia couldn’t hear them she turned to her children, “I want answers and I want them now. How and where did this happen? And I swear if you all remain silent; I will have your heads.”

“Out with it,” Eloise said. “None of you have told me anything tonight and I’d like to know as well what happened to Pen.”

“Colin, I know you want to keep Pen’s secret, but I don’t think we have a choice in the matter right now,” Benedict offered.

“Secret? What secret could Pen have?” Eloise asked. “We tell each other everything.”

“Colin, if us knowing this secret will help Penelope then I believe you need to tell us,” Violet said.

“Eloise, you have to promise you won’t be mad at her,” Colin said.

“If this secret got her shot then I think I can forgive her from keeping it from me, she’s suffered enough and she won’t need me being angry with her.”

“Penelope is Lady Whistledown and I followed her to her printers’ shop and as we were leaving Bow Street Runners ambushed the carriage and shot at us.” Colin knew that if he didn’t blurt it out it would come out all choppy and now that he’s blurted it out, he can take a breath and await any response from his mother or sister.

“Eloise, you had no idea Pen was Whistledown?” Anthony asked. Eloise remained quiet for a moment.

“I never thought she was, but it does make sense. I can’t believe she kept this from me? Why didn’t she tell me?” Eloise pondered.

“I don’t understand why the Queen would send the Bow Street Runners though and how did they figure out where Penelope…where Lady Whistledown takes her work?” Violet asked.

Eloise’s mind went back to the conversation she had with the Queen recently. The Queen was pretty obsessed with unmasking Whistledown. She had even recruited Eloise to help her do it, but Eloise didn’t think she wanted Whistledown dead. Eloise had an inkling that the Queen had something set up to unmask Whistledown, but this seemed like something else completely.

“The Queen wanted to find out Whistledown’s identity. She even asked me to help her figure it out. I heard rumors that she had something planned to unmask her, but I couldn’t get close enough to figure out what it was. But as far as I knew the Queen just wanted to know who she was. I don’t believe she wanted her dead.”

Everyone looked at Eloise like she was a new person. Her brothers knew she was looking into the identity of Whistledown, but they didn’t know she was in talks with the Queen herself. How did Eloise get an invite to speak with the queen?

“Anthony, do you have any contacts with the Bow Street Runners?” Violet asked.

“Not direct contacts, but I think I can speak with someone at the club,” he answered. He hadn’t thought about the contacts he had before, he was more worried about the _why_ and not the _how_ of what transpired.

“Eloise, have you had any contact with the Queen recently.” Violet could not believe she was asking that question, as if her children would have direct lines to the queen was insane.

“I’m sorry?” Eloise froze up, did her mother just ask her if she has contact with the Queen?

“The Queen, Eloise, have you’ve talked with her recently or can you get in contact with her?” Violet asked again.

“No. I haven’t and I’m not sure how to get in contact with her. The last time we spoke was at the opera and she said she had it handled. I never gave up my own search, but she did not require my assistance anymore.”

“Mother, let me see what I can uncover at the club before we try to accuse the Queen of something,” Anthony said.

“Very well,” Violet responded. “Colin, can we speak for a moment?”

Anthony, Benedict and Eloise stepped away from their brother and mother. They knew this was a conversation she wanted to have alone with Colin.

“I’m sorry. I should have been more careful. I should have protected Pen better.” Colin didn’t know what his mother had to say, but he had to get this apology off his chest before he exploded.

“Colin, dear, what could you have done different? You cannot stop a speeding bullet.” She placed her hand on his shoulder.

“But if I would have put my own pride on the side and gotten her in the carriage right away instead of arguing with her, this wouldn’t have happened. I had to pick a fight with her. I caused this. I caused her to get shot. I don’t think that can be forgiven.” Colin couldn’t help but think if he did a few things differently that they wouldn’t be having this conversion right now.

“What’s done is done, and I know this is extremely difficult given that it’s Penelope, but I believe the most important thing is that’s she’s still here.” Violet knew of Penelope’s feelings toward Colin and deep down she knew there was something in Colin as well. Whether he knew they were there remained to be seen, but she believed that after the night he’s had he knows.

“Mother, I don’t know what I’d do if she died.” Colin admitted.

“It’s a good thing we don’t have to worry about that then.” She reassured him, “We can move past this once she’s healed up and maybe you might consider actually giving into those feelings you have.”

“What feelings?” Colin asked.

“Colin Bridgerton, are you going to tell me you feel nothing for Penelope?” She asked.

If he knew one thing it was that he didn’t want to lose Penelope. Like he told his mother, he didn’t know what he would do if she died, but was that more of he didn’t know how the guilt would consume him if she died or more of the he just lost the love of his life if she died. He’s been racking his brain all night on what he actually felt for Penelope. He nearly had a breakdown in front of Anthony when he mentioned the idea of love earlier. Did he love Penelope? Was he really admitting to himself that he has the same feelings for her as she did for him?

“Colin, love is a special thing and not everyone finds it. I had a special kind of love with your father and I hoped that all of my children found that kind of love with someone. Don’t deny yourself this special love. Don’t deny Penelope this special love. I don’t expect you to get married right now, but I will advise you that you need to figure out what you want. You need to have an honest conversation with yourself and then with her. She could have died tonight, but she didn’t. Take this as a sign that she’s destined for more and that you’re destined for more _with_ her,” Violet said. “Now I think that you need to get cleaned up before you speak with her though. Besides I don’t think Portia is going to be leaving just yet. Get yourself cleaned up and we will see where things are when you’re done.”

Violet sent her third born to his room to clean himself up and then she went to her flock of children down the hall.

“You weren’t listening in on that were you?” She asked. She knew her children were nosy and took any chance they could to listen in on conversations they were not supposed to.

“Of course we weren’t listening, mother. Give us a little more credit than that,” Anthony said.

“But let’s just say if we were listening to that conversation, do we think that Colin is going to confess his love to Penelope?” Benedict asked.

“Your brother has been through a tough night, as have the rest of you, but I think that Colin is going to do what is best for him and Penelope.” Violet knew they heard, but given the circumstances they were in she didn’t hold it against them too much. “Eloise, how are you doing? I know this has to be equally, if not more difficult on you. She’s your best friend after all.”

“I’ve been scared all night. I was scared she was going to be gone forever. I couldn’t live with myself if she was gone,” Eloise answered. “I can breathe a little bit better now that I know she’s going to be alright, but I keep thinking back at all the things that could have gone wrong.”

Violet wrapped her daughter in a tight hug, “I could not imagine being here during all of that and fearing that you would lose her, but just remember I am always here for you if you want to talk. I’m relieved that she is going to be alright.”

“Do you think that I can go back in with her now?” Eloise asked. She couldn’t really believe that Portia would stay this long. She had never looked after Penelope’s well-being before and the whole distraught mother act was a bit suspicious for Eloise to believe.

Violet was going to suggest they give Portia a bit more time with Penelope, but then a commotion started inside the room. They all ran to the room to see what was going on.

“YOU STUPID, STUPID GIRL!” They could hear Portia yelling, “How could you do something like this? WAKE UP!” More yelling came and then all they could hear was the sound of shattering glass. A lot of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this latest addition to my story, please tell me what you think.


	5. The Calm After the Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tensions arise, but the great Violet Bridgerton takes charge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's been a few days since my last update and I want to apologize for that. I know I was posting an update everyday, but this weekend has been extremely busy for me. I want to thank all of you that have read every chapter and those that have left comments and kudos. I appreciate any and all feedback, so thank you so much!

_Moments Earlier_

Portia looked at her daughter lying in the bed and could not believe what she was looking at. Out of all of her children she knew Penelope was going to be a handful, but she never thought she would get into this kind of trouble. “Penelope Featherington, what have you done?” Portia didn’t know what she was going to do with her.

Penelope had always been different than her sisters. While her sisters had focused on finding a suitable husband, Penelope focused on nurturing her mind. Of course Penelope wasn’t opposed to finding a husband, Portia knew of her infatuation with one Mister Colin Bridgerton and she also knew that her daughter wasn’t popular enough or beautiful enough to be with a Bridgerton. Because of this infatuation, Portia also knew that Penelope would most likely never marry and enter into spinsterhood. She had come to terms with only two of her daughters finding husbands. She did not, however, come to terms with her other one bringing shame on the Featherington name.

“I don’t know why I’m surprised. You have given me grief ever since the day you were born you know.” Portia wasn’t expecting an answer, she knew her daughter wasn’t awake and probably couldn’t hear. But this did not stop her from continuing her rant, “Why did you have to be the outcast? Why did you have to read books? You could have had a great life. If you had only focused on finding a husband like your sisters.”

Penelope moved slightly in the bed and Portia noticed. There must have been a part of Penelope that could hear her and Portia wanted her daughter to wake up. She needed answers. “Oh, don’t pretend to be sleeping now my dear Penelope. Do you know what you’ve done to our family with this little stunt of yours? This is going to ruin the Featherington name, you know.” Portia drew herself closer to her daughter, she wanted to shake her to wake her up. She also wanted to ring her daughter’s neck. “If Lady Whistledown gets hold of this story, we are done. Your sisters will never marry and neither will you, which I’m sure you don’t care too…too much…” Portia heard distinct chatter outside the room, a rambling of some sort.

She slowly walked to the door and opened it slightly to listen, _“Penelope is Lady Whistledown…”_ Portia thought she heard Colin utter those words. She closed the door and snapped her head back towards Penelope.

“Well isn’t this just lovely. All this time? It’s been you all this time?” Portia thought back to all the Whistledown columns she’d read, all the stuff Whistledown wrote about this family, her own family. “You’ve turned your back on your family. All of those things you wrote about us in that column. How could you do something like that? You have ruined this family, now in more ways than one.” Portia walked back to Penelope’s side. She reached down and grabbed Penelope’s shoulders and wanted to shake the life out of her.

Portia shook her daughter as she lie there helpless in the bed. She shook her until she noticed blood start to seep through the bandages.

“YOU STUPID, STUPID GIRL!” She yelled. “How could you do something like this? WAKE UP!” She dropped her daughter’s shoulders and out of complete anger grabbed a glass that was left on the bedside table and threw it at the window. The glass shattered everywhere and the window broke. “Shit,” she whispered to herself and she knew she had to get out of that room.

Portia made her way to exit, but before she could the Bridgerton clan burst through the door. They all took in the scene and eyes landed on the window and Penelope. Eloise and Violet rushed to Penelope’s side.

“Mother, look at her shoulder. There’s more blood her than there was before. This does not look good,” Eloise said. “How could this have happened?”

“Portia, what have you done?” Violet asked.

“I did what had to be done. She has ruin us. Her little Whistledown adventure has ruined our family. I assure you it might be better to be rid of her than to have this secret come out,” Portia responded.

“I beg your pardon. You do not mean to tell me that you’d rather have her die? Your own daughter?” Violet could not believe what she was hearing. She could not imagine every wanting one of her children dead. She would always work out their problems with them instead of cast them out.

“She is no daughter of mine. Not anymore, she’s –” Portia was interrupted by a rather angry Bridgerton.

“I think it is time to take your leave Lady Featherington,” Anthony said. He balled his fist up and felt the extreme urge to hit the lady in front of him, but a gentleman shall never hit a lady, even if that lady so does deserve it. Portia stood frozen in front of him a bit shocked at his tone in front of his family. “Did you not hear me the first time? Get out of this house. NOW!”

Portia took her leave and Anthony followed behind to make sure the wretched woman left. “Don’t leave this door until I return.” He instructed of Benedict. “I shall send a maid up to tend to Penelope.”

“Oh, Lady Featherington, I shall request that as you take this leave from our home that it be your last. You are no longer welcome within this house.” Anthony bid her farewell and slammed the door in her face.

Anthony headed back upstairs, taking the stairs two at a time. How stupid could that woman be? He knew she treated Penelope different than her other girls, but he never could have imagined she’d want her dead. On the grand scheme of things, being Lady Whistledown is hardly the worst thing Penelope could have done. Yes, she’s said a lot of things about everyone, but they had all been the truth. Even the things she wrote about her own family, sadly those things were true as well.

“Anthony, what was that crash?” Colin asked. He was cleaned up by now and Anthony kind of didn’t want to tell him because he would go off, but he deserved to know.

“There was an incident. But it’s being handled as we speak.”

“What kind of incident? Is Pen alright?” Colin took off down the hall without waiting for a response. He could hear his mother consoling Eloise and saw Benedict guarding the door to Penelope’s room. “Let me in.” He demanded.

“Colin, take a breath. She’s fine. The maid is just finishing up changing the bandage.” Benedict held his guard and tried to reassure Colin that everything was fine.

“The bloody window is smashed, Benedict, and Eloise is crying. So, I would say that everything is not fine.” Colin was fuming. He was sick of his brothers pushing him aside and keeping things from him.

“Brother, listen to me,” Anthony said, “We heard yelling and then the glass shattering. When we came in the room, we could see that Portia was not happy. She was yelling at Pen, but we stopped it before it could get any worse. I’ve also banned Portia from coming into this house again.”

“Portia hurt her? Portia broke the window? How did you not throw her through that window? If I would have been –”

“Colin, doing any of whatever you were just thinking about would not have helped the situation. I’ve handled Portia and she won’t hurt Pen anymore.” Anthony reassured him.

“Lord Bridgerton,” the maid spoke up. “I’ve assessed Miss Featherington and it appeared that a few stitches were split open. I’ve taken care of those and have clean the wound up. She should be good for a few more hours before it needs to be checked again.”

“Thank you, can you see to it that this room is cleaned up after we’ve moved her,” Anthony said. “Mother, I believe we need to move Pen. I do believe that my old room can be prepared in only a few moments.”

“No way, we are not moving her across the house. My room is right next door and is already prepared. She can stay in my room tonight and every night if it comes to that,” Eloise said. If these last few minutes have taught her anything it was to not let Penelope out of her sight.

“Eloise, where will you sleep then?” Her mother asked.

“I don’t know if I will get much sleep tonight, but if I must, I shall sleep on the floor or the chair. It doesn’t matter where I sleep really. Pen is the only one that matters right now.”

“She can have my bed,” Colin said.

“You will certainly not share a room with her overnight. She is an unwed woman and you an unwed man. You have not been courting her and if it were to get out…” Violet interjected the conversation.

“I’m not going to share a bed with her mother, she can sleep in my bed and I shall sit in a chair outside the door. It’s not like I’m going to get any sleep tonight.”

“She’s my best friend Colin, so I think that she should stay with me. Besides there will be no talk if it’s found out. Everyone already knows we are best friends and no one knows whatever it is that’s going on between you two. It would sure set a scandal to –” Eloise started.

“You have no idea what’s going on between –” Colin realized he was about to say something he had yet to admit to himself in front of his family.

“That is enough. From all of you,” Violet said. “I’m going to tell you all what we are going to do and there will be no arguments.”

“But –” Anthony and Benedict both looked at Colin like he was a fool, their mother just said no arguments.

“So help me, Colin, no arguments. We will move Pen to Eloise’s bedroom, but Eloise I will not have you sleep in a chair. I will have the staff bring up a cot for you and you can sleep next to Penelope. Colin, if you insist on not sleeping at all tonight, I will not force you, but I will not allow you to set foot in Eloise’s room until the morning, so do whatever you want, just do it away from that room. As for the rest of us, we are all going to try to get a good night’s sleep and we will recoup in the morning.”

Violet had always been good at bringing sense to a difficult situation, she did raise eight children after all. Benedict took charge in moving Penelope as per Violet’s orders and Anthony went to the staff to bring a cot up for Eloise. Violet pulled Colin aside for the second time that night

“Sweetheart, I know you’re angry, I am too and I know you’ll be angry for a while, but you’re going to need to get your head on straight before you talk to that young woman that you do so love. Don’t try to convince me otherwise. Everything I’ve seen tonight, everything I just witnessed in that room, gives me the evidence I need to know.” Violet looked her son in the eyes and knew he knew. She knew this was what he needed to push him over the edge and confess his love.

“Mother, I will make this right, but don’t think I’m going to be asking that wretched woman for permission to marry her daughter. I don’t think I could be left alone in a room with her.” Colin would most likely throw Portia out her own window and not bat an eye.

“Well there are ways around that, my dear. Now, I will leave you to do what it is you feel you need to do tonight and I am going to get some rest. We will talk more in the morning.” She kissed Colin on the cheek and headed for her room.

Colin brought a chair over to Eloise’s door and planted himself there. No way was he moving away from that door that night.

_Sometime During the Night_

Eloise tossed and turned all night. She wanted to take the pain away from her best friend. Could the Queen have actually wanted to kill Lady Whistledown? Every time Eloise spoke with the Queen it only sounded like she wanted to unmask the writer. She needed to get out of her head. She quietly walked to her door and opened it slightly. She saw Colin slumped over in the chair he had setup outside her door.

“Colin,” she whispered. “Colin, are you awake.” She touched his shoulder, which made him jump slightly.

“Eloise? What’s wrong? Is Pen alright?” He jumped out of the chair like there was a fire.

“She’s fine. She’s still asleep, but not for long if you don’t quiet down.” Eloise shushed her brother and softly closed the door to her bedroom. “Can we talk?”

“Are you alright Eloise?” he asked. Concern was growing in his mind.

“I’m not entirely sure. What happened to Pen tonight really scared me. I don’t ever want to the feel like this again. I was young when father died, so I didn’t really know how to put my emotions into words, but Colin I can’t help but wonder what I’d feel if she…” Eloise trailed off and wiped a tear that had escaped her eye.

“Eloise, trust me I know what you mean. I do remember when father died and what I felt, but it’s different with Pen. Pen is your best friend and there is nothing like the love of a best friend. Your bond with her is so strong. Pen has always been an honorary part of this family, but if this night has taught me anything is that I’d like to make her an official part of the family.” Colin wasn’t expecting to tell any of this to Eloise and he never planned on asking her for her blessing to marry Penelope, “I’d like to ask you something?”

“You want to marry her?” Eloise knew it was coming.

“I do. Eloise, I love her and I want to marry her. I want to take back all of these years that I’ve wasted. I want to take back all the times I was a fool. I’d like to have your blessing to marry her, El.” It was hard for Colin to open up about his feelings, especially to Eloise and he knew he didn’t need her blessing to marry Penelope, but it was something he felt was the right thing in that moment.

“Colin Bridgerton, if you ever do anything to hurt her or make her feel like she is less than the beautiful, intelligent girl she is I’ll have your head,” Eloise said. They both laughed a little.

“I promise you my dear sister that her well-being and happiness will be my main priority going forward. I never want to see her hurt ever again,” Colin said.

“Then I supposed you can have my blessing to marry her, but she still has to say yes you know.”

“I know and I have to do it right.” Colin hugged his sister and they sat in silence for a few moments before he made sure she was alright, “El, are you sure you’re okay?”

“I think I’ll be fine. I want to talk with her, but I know her rest is the most important thing right now, so I can wait. I wasn’t quite sure what I was feeling before. I had a lot of emotions running through my head. I was angry with you because I thought this was your fault, I was angry with Pen for keeping this secret, but I was scared more than anything. I can get over Pen not telling me about her secret, it is a secret after all, but I could not get over losing her.”

“We are never going to lose her. I will not let that happen. I promise.” He leaned down and placed a soft kiss on Eloise’s head. “Now, I do believe Mother said we _all_ needed our rest. Go back to bed and we’ll talk more in the morning if you want to.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this latest addition to the story. Tell me what you think in the comments. I most likely won't have another chapter up for a few days. It's a busy time for me with work. I will try my best to get the next chapter up within the next two days, three days tops.


	6. Something Is Not Right.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anthony is finally getting some of the answers he do desperately wanted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I again am using things from both the Netflix series and the book. So I'm kind of using the timing from the Netflix series where Daphne and Simon had just had their ball but using details from the fourth book to develop Colin and Penelope's relationship. I'd love to hear what you think about everything, so please leave me comments.

Anthony arrived early the next morning to the family home. He wanted to check in with everyone before he set off to the club in search of answers. Violet and Benedict were at the table with Hyacinth and Gregory eating breakfast. Anthony shot a glance to his youngest siblings and then back to his mother, she just shook her head.

“Good morning family. Benedict can you take Gregory and Hyacinth to the sitting room. I require a moment with mother,” Anthony said.

“If this has anything to do with Penelope getting shot, we know brother,” Hyacinth responded.

Violet shot her youngest child a most shocking look, “How do you know that?” she asked.

“We heard the staff talking in the kitchen,” Gregory piped up.

“And what were you two doing in the kitchen after midnight?” Benedict asked.

“We were hungry and snuck a few of the leftover biscuits. No one even knew we were there,” Gregory answered.

“Is Pen going to be alright?” Hyacinth asked.

“She’s going to need a lot of rest, but I do believe she will be alright, dear,” Violet said.

“Benedict?” Anthony nodded at his brother, he still wanted to speak with his mother alone.

“Alright, everyone out. We’ll pick up later,” Benedict said. He took his younger siblings out.

“Should you not be headed to the club this morning?” Violet asked.

“I’m headed there right after this, but I wanted to see to it that everything was fine here first,” he responded. “Is there any news?”

“I checked on all three of them this morning. Colin fell asleep sitting in that chair, but I did not wake him up. Eloise is up, but won’t leave the room. I had a maid take her some food, but she won’t eat. Penelope, though,” Violet paused.

“Mother, if something is wrong, you must tell me,” Anthony said.

“I believe with time Penelope will be fine, but I’m afraid it’s going to be an extremely uphill battle for her. Everything that happened last night with Portia, I’m afraid that –”

“Mother, if you mean that you’re afraid that Penelope is not going to have a family to support her or care for her do not fret. I will see to it that she is taken care of. She has always been an honorary part of this family and I’m confident that we can afford to take her in,” Anthony interrupted her.

“Oh, I’m not so worried about her financially, your brother has already said he would see to it she’s taken care of, seeing that he’s finally going to ask her to join our family. I’m more worried about her emotional and mental stability. I know that she’s never felt like she belonged with her own family, but they are still her family and –"

“Wait, back up a minute. Colin proposed to Penelope?” Anthony asked.

“Well not yet, but he’s going to when she wakes up, but did you not hear what else I said?”

“I heard you, I was just shocked at the marriage part, but to your other point, yes. She’s going to have a hard time moving forward, but I believe the more we included her in family events, the more she’ll feel like family. I mean it’s not like we don’t do that already. Pen is always over for tea and she spends a lot of time with Eloise the way it is.” Anthony really wasn’t the greatest person when it came to talking about emotions, so, although, he knew what his mother was talking about with Penelope having a hard time moving forward, he didn’t really know how to express it fully in words.

“I’m just afraid that since we already include her in family events, it might not be enough to overshadow the complete loss of her own family. I’m afraid she may think that everything we do going forward is going to be out of pity for her, which in no way will it be, but she’s an independent woman and she may think about it in that way. None of you children have truly known what it’s like to be an outcast from your own family. You’ve all had somewhere you could belong. Penelope didn’t have that, and I’m not so certain she ever felt like she completely felt like she belong here either.” Violet felt herself getting rather emotional for Penelope, it was like she was one of her own children. Violet always felt like Penelope belonged with their family. She always brought a witty side to conversations and got along easily with all of the Bridgerton siblings. It broke Violet’s heart to even consider that Penelope might not think she has a family she belongs to.

“Mother, please don’t worry too much, I’m sure that we will be able to convince her she belongs here. I have an idea for how we can do that, but I have a few things to take care of first. I need to speak with Colin before he proposes to Penelope and I need to see to what I can find out at the club. Can you write to Daphne and see if they can make it to dinner tomorrow night?” Anthony was on a mission now, and there were a lot of moving parts he needed to sort out.

“Of course, but you will tell me what you have planned before you set it in motion, correct?” Violet had faith that whatever Anthony had planned would work out, but she liked to know what was going on.

“Of course, mother, now I bid you adieu.” Anthony gave his mother a kiss on the cheek and set out to find Colin.

Anthony headed upstairs, this time taking the stairs one at a time. There wasn’t a truly pressing need for him to get upstairs faster than normal. He went down the hallway towards the bedrooms and found Colin slumped in the chair outside Eloise’s room like his mother said. It looked as if he had been out all night drinking and found the closest thing to pass out on, but Anthony knew that this was exhaustion. Colin was exhausted from all of the events that happened yesterday and he was worried. Anthony couldn’t blame his brother for his concern, if he was in his brother shoes, he’d probably be the same way. So even though he knew Colin needed his rest, Anthony had to speak with him before he did or said anything stupid to Penelope.

“ _Psst,”_ Anthony whispered in his brother’s ear. “We need to talk.”

Colin slowly opened his eyes, letting them adjust to the daylight shining down the hall. He briefly forgot where he was, but as soon as he saw Anthony everything came back to him.

“Is she awake yet?” Colin asked.

“I’m afraid not, but I hear congratulations are in order.” Anthony joked. He knew Colin hadn’t asked anything yet, but Anthony had to show he knew what was going on.

“I haven’t asked her yet.” Colin wasn’t sure if it was from his sleepy state or if his brother was always this way, but Anthony was almost acting in a way Colin would expect from one of his sisters.

“Oh, I know and that is what I have come to discuss with you.” Anthony motioned for them to walk down the hall and Colin reluctantly agreed even though he wanted to be close when Penelope woke up.

“Do you approve?” Colin asked.

“Of course I approve, I wondered when you were going to man up and realize you loved her. I didn’t think it would be this soon after I mentioned it yesterday, but I’m happy for you. Do you plan on asking for permission from Lady –"

Colin cut Anthony off, “Don’t ever say her name. I do not plan on asking her for anything. As far as I’m concerned, she is insignificant.” Colin didn’t want to think about having to ask permission from Lady Featherington. She basically disowned Penelope last night, so why should she have a say in whom should marry her daughter.

“Very well brother, it is unconventional to not get permission before a marriage proposal, but we’ll think of something,” Anthony said. Their mother probably had a plan already.

“I do not care how it happens, we can elope if we need to,” Colin said.

“I do believe it won’t come to that brother. But you know that if you ever hurt her Eloise will not be too forgiving.” Anthony could just imagine what their sister would do if Colin messed up.

“Oh, I’ve already gotten a speech from her about the matter. I do not plan to cross our dear sister ever when it comes to Pen.”

“Are you prepared for how Penelope is going to feel when she wakes up?” Anthony asked.

“Well I know she’s going to be in pain, and I do not know how to help with that…” he trailed off.

“No, brother, how she’s going to emotionally feel. Mother mentioned that she’s going to be going through a lot at one time. She doesn’t know he mother basically disowned her and that she won’t have that home to go to,” Anthony said.

“She’s not going to need that home once we are married,” Colin responded.

“I’m well aware of that, but mother is afraid Pen’s not going to feel like she completely belongs with our family. She’s afraid that Pen is going to see all of our actions as done out of pity, which we know they are not, but we have to think about how she might view them.”

“You mean because she’s truly never had anyone care for her before at her home,” Colin questioned.

“Exactly, she is rather independent and that’s because she had had to be. Now, when she no longer has to be independent it’s going to take some time for her to adjust to. We have to show her that she belongs with the Bridgerton clan. We have to show her that we want her here, but I think you may have the hardest time convincing her of that,” Anthony said. He could see Colin thinking about this, Colin has a lot of time he needs to make up for.

“I know. I have to make up for all the time we could have been together and all the heartache I’ve caused her.” Colin knew what he had to do; he just wasn’t sure how he was going to do it.

“I will let you ponder what it is you’re going to do. I have to get to the club and find out everything I can about what happened,” Anthony said. “Oh, and mother has written to Daphne and Simon to join us for dinner tomorrow night. We will need Daphne if we are to convince Penelope she belongs here.”

Anthony left down the hall leaving Colin to stand awkwardly in the middle of the hallway alone. Colin heard the front door open and close. Anthony was gone. Colin went back to the chair in which he slept to figure out what he could say to Penelope.

_At the Club_

Anthony arrived at the club around noon. He wasn’t sure what he was going to find out or who he would even start with. He did not know of anyone with direct ties to the Bow Street Runners and he figured if he started asking questions about them it would be suspicious on his part. So, instead of talking with anyone, he sat in the corner with his drink and just listened.

The men at the club rarely gossiped. There was the usual talk of gambling and women, some talk of stresses at home, but never too much gossip, except if there was something rather scandalous in the Whistledown column. Anthony had the latest Whistledown column with him, but he had yet to read it. He wondered what was in this last column, probably the last column for a while seeing that Penelope will most likely be out of sorts for a while.

Anthony scanned the column and nothing stood out as too scandalous. There were notes on the Duke and Duchesses ball, comments of whom danced with whom, and notes of what happened to Marina Thompson and Sir Philip Crane. It appeared to be one of the milder columns that just reported what had happened in the last few days. He closed the column and set it down, exchanging it with his drink. Anthony took a sip of his whiskey and focused on the chatter among the club.

“My cousin said he went mad and shot at the carriage.” Anthony heard a gentleman near him say this to his companion.

“Were they not there to harm her?” The other man asked.

“No, apparently they were only supposed to find out her identity and ask why nothing was written about the Queen’s garden lunch,” the first man said.

“So why did he shoot at the carriage? Was she harmed?”

“That, my cousin did not know, but he did say he saw one of the younger Bridgerton boys helping her. So, either he just happened to be there as well, or the Bridgertons have known her identity this whole time. She could be a Bridgerton girl.”

Anthony cleared his throat to make his presence known. Both men looked in his direction.

“Lord Bridgerton we did not see you there. We apologize for –”

“No apology necessary. I can assure you that I have no idea to what you have spoken here, but I want to thank you for enlightening me with this information. If there is any Whistledown actions happening under my roof I shall come to the bottom of it, but I must ask that you not spread any more rumors about my family. Good day, gentleman.” Anthony finished the rest of his whiskey and left the club.

Anthony knew this information was helpful, but it was also not very good. There was no doubt that this information had gotten back to the Queen and it was only a matter of time before she sent someone to their home for answers. He needed to be there before any more damage could be done. Anthony had mounted his horse in such haste he almost fell off, but he steadied himself and rode home.

Anthony made it home in record time and quickly handed his horse off to a footman and ran inside. There did not appear to be any sign of a visitor, but to be sure he quickly checked the sitting and drawing room. There was no one in either room, which was strange considering that almost his entire family was home. He checked the dinner room next, but that was empty as well. His last hope was to check Penelope’s room, she was sure to be there and his family would not leave her here alone.

Colin was not in the hallway outside the room and the door was closed. He slowly opened it and found Penelope was still indeed sleeping and Colin was sitting next to her in a chair while Eloise slept on the cot brought up for her last night. Colin noticed his brother sneaking in the room and silently brought a finger to his lips while nodding at Eloise. He carefully got up from the chair and walked Anthony back out into the hallway. They carefully closed the door as they did not want to wake Eloise up.

“Where is everyone?” Anthony asked.

“Mother took Gregory and Hyacinth for a walk to keep their minds off what’s going on here and Benedict was here. If he’s not here now then I’m afraid I do not know where he’s gone to,” Colin answered. “What happened at the club? Did you get any information?”

“We have a huge problem. You were recognized by one of the Bow Street Runners,” Anthony said.

“I do not understand how they could have seen me; they were nowhere close enough to pick out my face.” Colin couldn’t even see their faces, how was it possible they saw his.

“Well not you exactly, but they noticed a Bridgerton boy. But apparently it was a rogue Bow Street Runner that shot at you two, they were never supposed to harm Whistledown. They were only supposed to find out who she was and get information about something the Queen wanted to know.”

“Anthony, if they know a Bridgerton was with Whistledown, it’s only a matter of time before someone comes asking questions.”

“I know, brother, I know. We have to not give any information to anyone. No one can know what is going on within these walls.”

“Well we certainly won’t tell anyone and our staff is rather loyal when it comes to sensitive matters, so I’m sure that we will be able to keep this in house. Yet, if someone comes to the house it might be harder to hide things from them, but do you really think the Queen would send someone to our home?” Colin asked.

“I would hope not, but she’s the Queen so I mean she can –” He was cut off by on knock on the front door.

“It cannot be, can it?” Colin asked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank everyone again for reading this next addition to the story. I look forward to hearing what you have to say about this chapter. I also want to warn you that the next chapter may not be published until early next week, I have an extremely busy weekend coming up. Thanks in advance for you patience.


	7. I Love You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daphne and Simon make their first appearances. Daphne's love for family shines through brightly in this chapter. Penelope also makes her reappearance in this chapter and she has a lot to take in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it had been a bit since I posted an update and I apologize for that. This week got away from me, but I hope that this chapter makes up for the wait. It is significantly longer the previous ones and it took me longer to get it to where I wanted it to be. I hope you enjoy it and please let me know what you think.

_Earlier that Day_

_To My Dearest Daphne,_

_I have some quite unsettling news to share with you and Simon. Penelope Featherington has been shot and is now residing at our home. I do not want to go into too much detail through letter. I will fill you in on more details when I see you next. Anthony has requested yours and Simon’s attendance at dinner tomorrow night. No need to rush over here today, there’s not much anyone can do at the moment. See you tomorrow night for dinner._

_Yours Truly,_

_Violet Bridgerton_

Daphne could not believe what she had just read. Penelope Featherington, little innocent Penelope had been shot. How did it happen and what were they doing about it? She paced her drawing room creating so many scenarios in her head as to what could have happened, but none of them felt plausible enough. Also, why wasn’t she being taken care of at her own home? Was this an accident one of her siblings felt sorry for and felt they needed to take her in? How was Daphne supposed to wait until tomorrow night for all of these answers? She wasn’t, that’s how.

“Simon,” she said, walking over to her husband. “We have to go.”

“Go? Go where?” he asked.

“Penelope has been shot and she’s being taken care of at my family’s home. Something doesn’t feel right,” she answered him. She was never one to follow everything her mother asked of her, so why should she wait until tomorrow to see her family?

“She’s been shot? How? Why? Where?” Simon asked. He was now standing beside his wife reading the letter that Violet had written Daphne. “Your mother does not truly expect for you to stay home after reading something like this, does she? This literally provides next to no information.”

“Which is exactly why we are going to go over there right now. I’m so glad I talked you into staying until the end of the season, otherwise this would have been torture back at Clyvedon. Of course, these circumstances are far from good, however let us make haste,” Daphne said. She left the drawing room to ready herself for their short trip.

Simon left his wife to pack whatever she needed to stay at her family home. He knew she was not going to want to leave until things were in better shape. Simon sent for the carriage to be readied and gave the staff an update on where they were going. He wasn’t sure how long they would be gone, but did tell his staff if there was any urgent business to contact them at the Bridgerton house. Simon then quickly packed a small bag for himself and made sure Daphne had what she needed. 

Simon helped Daphne into the carriage and then joined her. They sat in silence for a few moments. Neither one wanting to say the wrong thing. Simon couldn’t wrap his head around how this could have happened and Daphne was sick thinking about how this was affecting Eloise and Colin. Yet, Daphne was hopeful, surely her mother would have told them if things weren’t alright. Daphne had to believe that though Penelope was hurt now, she would survive, right?

“Daphne?” Simon asked, snapping Daphne out of her train of thought. “Where was you mind just now?”

“I have to believe that Penelope will get through this, right? Like I’m sure if things were serious to the point of her not surviving this mother would have said, right?” Daphne asked.

“Even though your mother did not provide a lot of detail in that letter, it did sound as though Penelope would survive. I do not think your mother would wait to tell us that until tomorrow night,” Simon said. He grabbed his wife’s hands in his own to reassure her, “Let us keep positive thoughts now until we know more. It does no good to dwell on the unknown.”

“You are right, my dear, we have to stay positive. If not for ourselves, but for Penelope and the others,” Daphne said.

“Others?” Simon questioned.

“Well, Eloise, for one because they are best friends and I cannot imagine what she is going through. Then, Colin as well because if I know one thing, this whole incident has probably made him realize he’s in love with her. God knows everyone else can see it.”

“Really? You think Colin loves Penelope.” Simon didn’t see what his wife saw apparently, but Simon also has not spent a lot of time with the whole family and Penelope. He could see that Penelope had feelings for Colin, but he never thought about Colin returning those feelings.

“Simon, you’re going to sit there and tell me you haven’t seen the way Colin acts around Pen? Come on, Pen has been in love with Colin since the first day they meet, granted that was many years ago, but her feelings have not gone away. If anything, her feelings for Colin have only grown stronger as the years have gone on. Colin on the other hand has guarded his true feelings all these years. He probably thought Pen’s feelings were just a crush and she would eventually get over them, but Pen has always been in love with Colin and I believe he has been in love with her, maybe not as long as her though,” Daphne said.

“I always thought Penelope had feelings for Colin, but if I’m being honest, I haven’t given much thought to Colin’s feelings for Penelope. I may not have been paying as close attention as you or your family though. I am rather new to the Bridgerton clan and I haven’t figured out all of your family quirks just yet, but I will take your word for it that he loves her. I will have to pay closer attention to how your brothers handle themselves around the women in their lives I suppose,” Simon said. He was trying to lighten the mood in the carriage and although Daphne let out a tiny chuckle, he knew the situation was too serious to just drop all of the concern.

“I will ask you one thing before we arrive. If mother is in need of someone to distract Gregory and Hyacinth can you please help. I do not know how much about the situation they know, if any, but this is not something they should have to worry about at their ages,” Daphne asked.

“Of course, my dear, I am here to help in any way your family needs. Just say the word,” Simon said.

Daphne knew Simon would do anything for her, which meant he would do anything he could for her family. Since Penelope was so close to the Bridgerton family, she was included in that as well. They sat in silence the rest of the ride to the Bridgerton family home and it was peaceful. It was probably going to be the last bit of peace they had together for the next couple of days. Daphne was not one to sit around and let the boys do everything, so if there was something she could handle in regards to Penelope she was going to do it.

When they arrived at the family home Simon noticed a carriage in front of theirs, it was from the Queen’s palace and he could see someone about to exit it. Daphne followed his eyes to the carriage and concerned grew on her face.

“Simon, what’s wrong? Who is that?” she asked.

“I’m afraid that one of the Queen’s carriages. I’m not sure what’s going on, but I can try to distract them if you would like,” he answered.

“I do not like what’s going on here. Is there a chance you can get them to leave? Although I have no idea what is going on behind those walls, it is probably not a good idea to have it exposed to the Queen.” Daphne’s worries about the whole incident were starting to grow and now she knew that something was not right.

“Dear, you go inside. Let me deal with the company.” Simon helped his wife out of the carriage and led her towards the front door. He then turned his attention toward the men from the carriage. “Gentlemen, I’m Simon Bassett, the Duke of Hastings, is there something that I can do for you?”

Daphne left Simon to deal with the men and knocked on the front door. Humboldt greeted her and reminded her she does not need to knock on the door, this is still her home as well.

“Humboldt, good to see you, are my brothers home?” Daphne asked.

“Of course, they are upstairs, shall I call for them?” he asked.

“Daphne, what are you doing here?” Anthony asked. Him and Colin came from the stair way, they were almost out of breath.

“Mother wrote to me about Penelope. What is going on here? Why is there a carriage from the Queen’s palace outside?” she asked.

“What? Where are they?” Anthony asked.

“Simon’s taking care of that, but you never answered why they were here to begin with. What are you two hiding?” Daphne’s irritation with her brothers was growing and she wanted to blow up at them for hiding whatever it is they were hiding.

“Humboldt, can you see to it that whomever is in that carriage does not set foot inside this home. Tell them we are going through a family emergency or something. Anything to get them to go away and hopefully not come back anytime soon.” Anthony had to think of a way for this whole situation to go away, but what could he do when it came to the Queen.

“Anthony, what aren’t you telling me?” Daphne asked again.

“Sister, I promise we will tell you what is going on, just give me a moment to think,” Anthony answered.

“No, I will not give you a moment. Perhaps if you let me in on this little secret, I can be of some assistance,” Daphne responded.

“Anthony, it's fine, like you said before the secret is going to come out and I mean, I do not believe we have a choice right now,” Colin said. He turned to Daphne, “Sister, the short answer to what is going on is that Pen is truly Lady Whistledown and that is the reason she was shot, but we are the only ones that know it’s her.”

“I see,” Daphne said. She stood there for a moment trying to comprehend what Colin had just told her and how they were going to move forward with this knowledge. “Alright, what are you doing about this situation?”

“What do you mean?” Colin asked.

“What is this story here? What have you come up with for why Penelope is staying with us and why she appears to have a gunshot wound, which is exactly the same wound as Lady Whistledown?” she questioned. Her two brothers just stood there, “You mean to tell me that the whole time she’s been here and the whole time you knew her secret you have not come up with another legitimate reason for why she could be in the exact same situation as the most famous gossiper in our town? What type of solution have you come up with?”

“To be honest, we have been trying to gather more information about what happened so we could come up with some sort of solution,” Anthony answered. “Someone saw Colin with Lady Whistledown though, which is probably why the Queen sent someone here.”

“Who saw you?” she asked Colin.

“It was Bow Street Runners and they did not see me exactly, they saw a _Bridgerton boy,_ ” he said.

“Well that does not seem any better, Colin. The damage has been done and now they have a solid lead to follow. We have to come up with a solution to this problem,” Daphne said.

The front door opened behind them and all three of them spun toward it. Simon walked in followed by Humboldt. Simon looked at the three Bridgertons in front of him and then to Humboldt. Humboldt knew better than to get involved with the family business and left them to handle whatever was going on.

“I think I’ve walked into something and I’m not sure it’s something I should have walked in on,” Simon said breaking the very awkward silence he walked in on.

“Are they gone?” Daphne asked.

“Yes, for now, but I’m not sure for how long. They believe whatever Humboldt told them, but I do not think they will stay away forever. If I’m to take a guess, you probably have two or three days before they come. What are they after?” Simon asked.

“I think they are here for me.”

They all turned toward the stairs and were surprised to see Penelope standing there. She was barely standing on her own. She clung onto the railing as she tried to make her way downstairs. Colin immediately ran to her side to hold her up.

“What are you doing out of bed?” he asked her.

“I cannot let your family name be ruined by my secret. I never meant for any of this to happen. I’m truly sorry for everything.” She looked at Colin with tears in her eyes and his heart broke for her.

“Pen, you are our family and we will do what we have to so that you are protected,” Anthony said. He made his way up the stairs as well and was on her other side to hold her up.

“I do not want to make things harder for you with my…my…” Penelope looked at Colin and then at his siblings.

“They know, Pen. I’m so sorry, but I had to tell them,” Colin said.

“You do not have to worry Pen, we will keep your secret,” Daphne said. “I have to agree with Colin though, you should be in bed.”

“Yes, can we please get you back to bed,” Colin said.

“I do not want to be a burden and I need to fix this,” Penelope said.

“Oh, Pen, I do not believe any of us believe you to be a burden,” Daphne said. “Now, please allow us to help you back to bed.”

Daphne took the place of Anthony so she could help Colin get Penelope back upstairs. Colin was thankful for Daphne being there. Before they made their way back upstairs, she turned to Anthony and Simon.

“Anthony, please fill Simon in and let him know what you need. We are here to help in any means necessary,” she said. She turned her attention back to Penelope and Colin.

“Thank you,” Colin said. “I’m truly grateful you guys are here.”

“Colin, we are family. There’s nothing we wouldn’t do for family,” Daphne said. She noticed Penelope flinch at the word family. “That includes you as well, Pen. You are our family as well and we would do anything for you.”

Penelope began to tear up and a few stray tears ran down her cheek. She had never truly had anyone take care of her before, so this was a little overwhelming for her. She wanted nothing more than to be a part of the Bridgerton family and it finally felt like she was, but she still had a dark feeling that it would all be taken away just as fast as it has come.

“Pen, are you alright?” Colin asked.

“I’ll be fine. All of this. All of you. It’s all just a bit overwhelming,” she answered.

“Overwhelming?” Daphne asked.

“I’m sure you are well aware that my mother is less than caring, at least when it comes to me. My sisters are not much better,” Penelope said. “I’ve never really had people care for me before. I’ve always had to do everything myself and I’m just not used to this.”

“Well, like I said before, you are our family. We care for you and we love you. You will always have our help,” Daphne said.

Penelope felt her heart flutter. She was never told she was loved before. She felt like deep down her own family did love her, but they never showed it. She knew that Eloise loved her, they had been best friends for years, but it was never said between the two of them. She loved the Bridgerton family more than her own, but to hear that they loved her back gave her hope that she wasn’t alone.

The three of them reached the top of the stairs and Penelope finally felt how exhausted she was.

“Can we just take a moment to breath?” Penelope asked.

“Allow me,” Colin said. He bent down and it one swift motion pick Penelope up and carried her the rest of the way to Eloise’s room.

Eloise was still sleeping on the cot in her room, she didn’t get much sleep the night before. Colin quietly maneuvered his away around her in order to get Penelope to the bed. He placed Penelope gently on the bed and gave her the glass of water that was sitting on the side table.

“Here, you should drink this,” Colin said. “How’s your pain?”

“Thank you, and the pain is not too terrible. It hurts more when I move my arm,” she said.

“Maybe we can make you a sling so that you won’t be tempted to move your arm,” Daphne suggested.

“That would help a lot,” Penelope said. “I think I’d also like to change my dress. This one does not seem to be appropriate anymore.” She looked down at her torn dress and felt embarrassed she was still wearing it in front of others. Her cheeks were redder than they’ve been before and Daphne noticed.

“Colin, do you mind if I have moment with Penelope?” Daphne asked. When he hesitated to give her an answer she said, “She’ll be in good hands and besides we need something to make a sling. Can you check with the maids and see what they have, please?”

“I’ll be right back,” he said. He squeezed Penelope’s hand before he left and he saw her blush again.

“Thank you,” Penelope said.

“Not a problem,” Daphne said. “Sometimes my brothers cannot pick up on social cues, but do not worry, that’s what I’m here for.”

“Well I appreciate all of your help. I cannot believe I look like this. I’m a mess.”

“Pen, you were shot. None of us expect you to look like you are ready to appear in public.” Daphne sat beside Penelope on the bed.

“I’d still like to look presentable at least. You know, maybe look like I wasn’t shot,” Penelope said. “What time is it?”

“It’s almost four, why do you ask?”

“I hate to ask, but would you be able to do me a favor?” Penelope asked.

“Of course,” Daphne said.

“Would you be able to send someone over to my house to grab me some clothes. I really would like to change out of these clothes and burn them. I do not want to have any reminders of what happened.”

“I can go over there myself, Pen. Is there anything specific you want? Anything else besides your clothes? Will your mother be home?”

“Mother should be out with Prudence and Philippa, they had dress fittings today. I have a few items on my desk I’d like to have and any of the dresses that aren’t brightly colored will do. I hate the yellow dresses mother makes me wear,” Penelope answered.

“No problem at all, I will see to it that you have something comfortable to wear.” Daphne got up from the bed and made her way to the door. Colin was coming in at the same time.

“Where are you going?” he asked.

“I’m going to get Penelope some things that will make her feel more at home,” she said. Daphne closed the door behind her.

Colin had pieces from a sheet in his hands. They were probably the only things the maids had that could be used as a sling.

“Are those for me?” Penelope asked.

“Yes, they are. It was all we had and the maid said she was going to be coming up here within the hour to change your bandage so she would put this on for you as well. She does not want any of us to mess anything up,” he said.

“Who does not want us messing things up?” Eloise asked. She had finally woken up and was now sitting on the cot. She slowly opened her eyes and saw that Penelope was awake, “Pen, oh my, when did you wake up. I’ve been waiting for you to wake up. How are you?”

“Eloise, breathe, please,” Colin said. “We do not want to bombard her with a million questions, do we?”

“El, I’ve only just woken up, so do not worry. You have not missed much,” Penelope said.

“I’m so happy you are alright, Pen. I’ve been so worried,” Eloise responded.

“El, I’m so sorry for what I’ve put you through and for not telling you I was…” Penelope trailed off.

“Pen, you have nothing to apologize for. This was not your fault,” Eloise said.

“Eloise, I have so much to apologize for. My Whistledown secret has completely ruined everything. My reputation is ruined and now your whole family is ruined as well,” Penelope responded.

“Pen, no one knows your secret but our family and we are not going to let it get out,” Colin said. “You are not ruined.”

“But I heard you guys talking earlier,” she said.

“Heard who talking?” Colin asked.

“You and Anthony. I heard you guys in the hallway about _them_ seeing a Bridgerton boy with Lady Whistledown, which means I’m putting your family in danger for just being here.” Penelope did not want the Bridgertons to get blamed for any of Whistledown’s actions. This was not their fight.

“I have an idea,” Eloise said. “What if we tell everyone that Penelope is Whistledown?”

“You want to reveal her secret to everyone?” Colin asked.

“Well I mean, we are the only ones that know, which means we can control how it is revealed. We can spin the reveal in our favor, well in Pen’s favor,” Eloise answered.

“Do you not think the Queen will be overly delighted that we handed her Whistledown on a silver platter?” Colin asked.

“We are Bridgertons, Colin. We are one of the most respected families in the town and if we back Lady Whistledown, I’m sure others will do the same,” Eloise responded.

“Pen, what do you think? This could be a good thing, but it’s completely up to you,” Colin asked. He had turned toward Penelope and saw her mind working. Was she seriously considering just letting everyone know her secret? Would the rest of the town be so accepting of her?

“Can I think about this?” Penelope asked.

“Of course. You do not have to come up with an answer tonight,” Colin said.

“Thank you,” Penelope said. “Can I ask if my mother has come to see me yet?”

Eloise and Colin looked at each other. Neither one wanted to be the one to tell Penelope what her mother had said when she was here. Penelope hated the silence.

“What are you not telling me?” she asked.

“Your mother was here, but she –” the door to Eloise’s room opened and Daphne was back. She was rather fast.

“Your mother is a monster,” Daphne said. “She has kicked you out of your house. All of your things were packed and sitting by the door.”

“What?” Penelope looked like she was going to either cry or scream. She went silent and just looked down at her hands.

“Pen, don’t worry about her. She does not deserve to have you in her life. You have a home here with us,” Daphne said.

“Penelope, are you alright?” Eloise took Penelope’s hands in her own. “You know we’ve always thought of you as our sister and we are not going to leave you to handle any of this alone.”

“All of your things are being moved over here as we speak, but I managed to get you one of your dresses.” Daphne set down the folded dress on the bed beside Penelope. “I’m going to see to it that everything is handled with care.”

“Can I have a moment alone?” Penelope asked.

“Pen?” Eloise asked. She could hear the hurt in Penelope’s voice and wanted to do anything to take the hurt away.

“Eloise, mind helping me get Pen’s things taken care of?” Daphne asked. She had not left yet and could tell that all Penelope wanted was a tiny moment alone and they had to give it to her. Daphne escorted her sister out of the room, which only left Colin in there with Penelope. If this were any other day it would be seen as inappropriate to leave them alone together, but this was not any other day.

“Mister Bridgerton, may I have the room with Miss Featherington,” a maid was now at the door and Colin did remember her saying she needed to change Penelope’s bandage.

“Of course. I will be outside,” he said. Colin left the room to give them privacy, but he wanted more than anything to be by Penelope’s side.

Colin made sure to stick close to the room in case any help was needed. Although, he was not sure of what help he could be if it was needed. He leaned on the wall and just waited. He could hear the maid talking with Penelope and he was concerned at the strain in Penelope’s voice, but he stayed put.

“Miss Featherington, your wound looks well,” the maid said. “Of course, I know it hurts, but I’m happy to say it does not appear to be infected. Now I will have to say this next part will probably sting. Are you ready?”

“As ready as I can be. Just do it,” Penelope said. The initial contact of the disinfectant was cold and it stung like nothing Penelope had ever felt and she had to bite her tongue in order not to scream in pain.

“Miss Featherington, are you alright?”

“I’ll be…I’ll be…fine,” Penelope said. Her eyes welled up with tears and she tried her hardest not to let any of them fall, but she was not successful. She just wanted to process to be over.

“Very well, Miss, let us get you changed and we can be done for the night.”

The maid helped Penelope stand up and walked her into the dressing room. She finished changing the bandage on her shoulder and then removed Penelope’s torn dress. Penelope told her to get rid of the dress. She did not want to have a reminder of what happened and she hated that dress anyways. They removed her corset, which she did not realize she still had on, but she felt like she could breathe a bit easier with it off. The dress that Daphne had brought up earlier was a night dress and was far more comfortable than any of her ugly yellow dresses. Penelope was happy that Daphne read her mind because all Penelope wanted to do was rest and be comfortable.

“Miss Featherington, the last thing we have to do is the sling. This will not be the most comfortable thing for you, but it will help with keeping your arm immobile.” She had the pieces from the sheet tied together and she placed Penelope’s arm flush against her abdomen. She maneuvered the sheet under the arm and brought the ends up around her neck and tied the ends together. “Would you like me to brush your hair. I can only imagine it being a bit difficult with only one working hand?”

Penelope knew she probably looked like a mess, but she did not want to be anymore trouble, “I’m alright, thank you. I’ll be sure to let you know if I need anything else.”

“Of course, dinner will be served in about another hour. I’m sure you are starving and we will have a tray sent up her for you so you will not have to come downstairs. Please be sure to ring for us if you need anything in the meantime.”

“Can you let Colin know I need a minute and I will come get him when I’m ready,” Penelope said.

“Of course.” She walked out of the room and could hear Penelope start to cry, but it was not her place to share Penelope’s emotional state.

“How is she doing?” Colin asked.

“She needs a moment. She will come get you when she’s ready.”

He leaned up against the door and just listened. Colin’s heart broke at the sound of Penelope crying. He wanted to go into the room to be by her side and comfort her, but he did not want to deny Penelope her privacy, so he waited. He felt like he had been waiting an eternity by the time the door opened and she welcomed him in. Her eyes were red and swollen and her cheeks were stained from her tears. He found himself looking down her frame. Her night dress hung loosely around her hips. It was a nice blue color; it suited her skin tone and gorgeous red hair better than any of the yellow dresses her mother made her wear. Colin glanced at her right arm. It hung awkwardly just below her chest. He looked back to her face and wiped her tears away. Penelope’s cheeks blushed red the instant Colin touched her.

All Colin wanted to do in that moment was pull Penelope close to him and kiss her beautiful lips. He wanted to tell her he loved her and ask her to marry him. He wanted to do a lot of things to Penelope and it hurt him so bad that he could do none of them right then. He wanted his proposal of marriage to be special. He wanted her to feel special when he asked. So, he waited.

Penelope and Colin were still standing in the doorway when her stomach growled. The maid was right she was starving. She looked at Colin and was surprised he had not mentioned food yet. It was almost dinner time.

“Hungry?” He finally asked.

“A bit, but I have a lot on my mind I’m not sure I could eat anything,” she said. Her mind was spinning all over the place and her crying gave her a headache, so although she was starving, she had no idea if she could keep anything down.

“You should at least try something. When was the last time you ate anything?” He asked.

“At breakfast yesterday. I was not really hungry yesterday and then everything happened with Whistledown,” she said. “The maid said my dinner will be sent up here, so I will try to eat something. I think I just need to lie down for a moment.”

Penelope walked back to Eloise’s bed and stood there. With her arm in the sling she could not very well get in the bed without help. She contemplated just going to sit on the chair, but knew it would not be comfortable at all. Just when she thought things could not get any worse, she started crying again. She was frustrated and mad at herself for what happened.

“Pen? Why are you crying?” Colin asked. “Pen, please, just talk to me.”

She did not say a word. She hung her head and cried. Colin closed the distanced between them and just hugged her. He let her cry in his arms. He brushed her hair with his hand and rubbed her back. He was trying anything he could to try and sooth her. Her crying slowed and she pushed back from Colin.

“Colin, we shouldn’t be…” Penelope felt like anyone could walk in on them at any moment.

“Pen, we were not doing anything. God knows I want to,” Colin said.

He looked into her eyes and he saw her want as well. He lifted her chin up, looked at her lips and kissed her. He grabbed her lips with his own with a force he’s never felt before. He felt her want grow stronger. She parted her lips ever so slightly and he took that as his opening. He slipped his tongue inside her mouth and she welcomed it. Their tongues moving in sync. It was the most amazing thing they have ever felt. Colin placed his one hand on the small of her back and gently pulled her closer. His other hand cupped her face. He was mindful of her shoulder, but it was hard to hold himself back from doing what he truly wanted to do. He moved his lips to her neck. He placed several kisses along her jaw line, near her ear and down her neck. She let him do what he wanted to do and let out several soft moans of pleasure. He loved her more in this moment. It was like they were the only two people in the world.

“Colin,” Penelope softly said.

He was still working her neck, but managed to utter some kind of response, “Hmm?”

“Colin, we cannot,” she said. She slowly pushed away from him. She needed to take control of the situation. “What have we done?”

“Pen, no one saw us. We are fine,” Colin said.

“But someone could have seen and they would have seen us in that compromising position. Colin, we are both unmarried and…and…and that cannot happen again. My reputation can be ruined, but I would hate myself if yours was ruined on my account. We do not fit together. You are a Bridgerton, one of the most respected families, and I’m just a Featherington, the family everyone pities or does not notice,” she responded.

“To hell with everyone. Your reputation will never be ruined and I could care less about my own. Pen, I wanted this. I want you because we fit perfectly together. I do not pity you, and you have been on my mind for quite some time now. I’m sorry for not figuring it out sooner, but I love you. Pen, I’m in love with you,” Colin said. He grabbed her free hand and planted a kiss on her knuckles. She pulled her hand away. She was confused. He was confused. He did not love her. He could not love someone like her.

“Colin, you do not love me. I’m not the right woman for you. I’m not pretty. I do not matter in society. Colin, I cannot make you happy.” She turned away from him. She did not want to look into his eyes again and start to cry. She had cried enough that night and it was only making things worse.

“Penelope Featherington, you are the most gorgeous, beautiful woman I’ve ever met. I know you do not think you are, but to my eyes and my mind you are. You have the most brilliant mind I’ve ever seen and that is your beauty within. You do not look like the majority of the woman in society and I do not care about that. I do not compare you to the other women. You are Penelope Featherington, the beautiful young woman that has captured my heart. You are special and you matter.”

Penelope remained where she was and would not look at Colin. She wanted so bad to be with Colin, but everything in her life right now was turned upside down. Her mother had kicked her out of the house. Her secret was out and she had been shot. She wondered what else could go wrong. Colin moved next to her and turned her around. He wanted to look her in the eyes when he asked his next question. He knew this was not the way he intended to ask her, but he feared he would lose her if he did not ask right then.

“Marry me, Penelope.” He cupped her face and tilted it up so she was looking him in the eyes. “Marry me.”

She felt everything inside her go numb. She was numb. Had Colin Bridgerton just asked her to marry him? She felt weak. She had a headache from crying before and she was nauseous thinking about everything that had gone on and from not eating. Her knees buckled underneath her and she collapsed. Colin was able to catch her before she hit the ground. He sank to the ground and held her in his arms. This was not how he expected this moment to go.

He heard footsteps approach the door and looked up to see Eloise and Daphne in the doorway. Eloise gasped and fell to her knees. It felt like she was losing Penelope all over again. Daphne pulled Eloise up off the ground and just held her hand. Colin broke the silence first.

“Call for the doctor.” His voice broke.

It hurt her to hear it, but Daphne did as she was told. She ran out of the room and went directly to Anthony’s office. She was a bit out of breath, “We need the doctor.”

“What happened?” Anthony asked.

“I’m not sure. Eloise and I entered her room and Colin was holding her in his arms on the ground, but she was not awake,” Daphne said.

Benedict entered the office at this moment.

“Where have you been?” Anthony asked.

“Out. What’s wrong?” he asked.

“Well you go out again and get the doctor,” Anthony snapped back.

Anthony shoved him toward the door and he ran out. He knew his brother was a bit angry with him so he did what he was told. Anthony and Simon ran back upstairs, while Daphne went to inform her mother what was going on. Violet had returned home with Hyacinth and Gregory shortly after Daphne had returned from the Featherington home. Violet was trying to keep them occupied in the sitting room. Violet did not want them getting in the way and it was better that they did not see what going on either. At this time she was thankful that Francesca was not home, otherwise she had to make sure another child of hers was out of the way.

Upstairs, Anthony and Simon arrived to find Eloise beside herself and Colin with Penelope on the ground. Colin nodded at Eloise. Both Anthony and Simon followed his line of sight. Simon took the note first.

“Eloise, let us give them some space. The doctor should be here,” Simon said. He escorted her out of the room and left the two brothers to talk.

“Colin, what happened?” Anthony asked.

“We were talking and she just collapsed. She has not eaten anything since yesterday morning. I do not know if it was from that or from shock of me…me…”

“Shock from what Colin? What did you do?”

“I told her I loved her and asked her to marry me,” Colin said.

“And do you think so high of yourself that you can actually make a woman faint?” Anthony asked.

“Anthony, it is not the time to be making jokes.”

“Well let us get her off the floor,” Anthony said. He helped Colin lift her onto the bed.

“She’s going to be fine, right?” Colin asked.

“From what I’ve seen of Pen, she’s strong and I believe she can handle anything. I mean there is the chance that she will marry you and you are quite a handful.”

“But she never gave me an answer.”

“She will though,” Anthony said.

“This is what happened after I asked her.” Colin motioned to the current state in which Penelope was.

“She will be fine. Just keep positive thoughts and believe that she will say yes to marrying you,” Anthony said. He padded his brother on the shoulder. He knew Colin had hurt Penelope all these years, and maybe he did not deserve her, but he also knew Penelope’s love for Colin was so strong.

“Lord Bridgerton, we meet again.” The doctor had arrived.

“Doctor, thank you for rushing over. Please,” Anthony said. He motioned to Penelope on the bed.

“What can either of you tell me about what happened?” he asked.

“We were talking and she just collapsed. I know she said she hadn’t eaten anything since yesterday morning, but I’m not sure if that could cause her to fall like she did,” Colin said.

“Was she complaining of having a headache? Any dizziness? Or nausea?” he asked.

“I do not recall her mentioning anything of the sort.” Colin wanted to be able to give the doctor answers, but he was a little busy before to ask her how she felt.

The doctor did his exam on Penelope. Her pulse was steady, so he was not too concerned with that. He was content with the report he received from the maid about her wound, so he knew that an infection was not the cause of her current state. He suspected it was most likely a combination of having no food in her and a mild case of dehydration.

“Can I ask how much water has she had to drink since she woke up?”

“I do not believe she’s had more than a few sips,” Colin said.

“From what I can see and from what you’ve told me I do believe she will be just fine. I believe her current state is a result of her not eating anything nor drinking much water. Dehydration can cause someone to pass out. The only thing I can advise she do is to drink more water and to get something in her stomach tonight. She should wake back up on her own, but if she’s not awake in the next hour, you can gently wake her up by using some water and a cloth on her forehead. Simply applying the wet cloth to her skin can act like a shock to her system to wake her,” he said.

“Thank you, Doctor,” Anthony said. “We will make sure she is taken care of.”

Colin sat with Penelope while Anthony rang for a maid. He requested a basin of water and a clean cloth to be brought up right away, then requested that they have an ample supply of water for her to drink once she woke up. He asked that her dinner be put on hold until she was able to get some water in her system. However, dinner was being served downstairs for everyone else. He knew that it would be hard for any of them to eat, but they all had to keep their strength up so they could be there for Penelope.

“Colin,” Anthony said. “Dinner is being served downstairs. I probably do not have to ask this, but will you be joining us down there?”

“I cannot leave her right now. I’ll eat when I know she has something in her system,” Colin said. “Go and eat. I’ll be fine up here.”

Colin remained seated next to the bed. He did not want to force her to wake up before she was ready, but he knew the sooner she got water and food in her system the sooner she would be better. He reached for the cloth and soaked it in the water. He rung it out a bit and began to just pat at her head. He was gentle with each stroke. His mind went to moments earlier when they were standing almost in the same spot and he held her so close to him. The heat between them then was so inviting. He was close to her now, but it was different. They were not entangled with one another, but he still felt as close to her as he did before.

After a few more gentle strokes of the cloth across her head he soaked it with more water and rung it out. He placed it on her forehead this time and just let it sit there. He grabbed her hand and placed a soft kiss on it. This time she could not pull it away and he was thankful for that. He did not know what else to do to get her to wake up, so he just started talking.

“Pen, I’m not sure if you can hear me or not, but I have a few things I need to say. I hate the way you feel about yourself. I hate that your mother and sisters have made you feel like you are less than anyone else. They are your family, well they were, and they should have been encouraging you throughout your life and not putting you down. Your mother has no right to be angry with you because she has put your life through hell. I know I have not been there for you through every hardship you’ve had to go through, but I am here now and I will be there for everything you have to go through in the future, whether that be good or bad. I do not want to waste another day without you by my side. I feel horrible for not realizing my feelings sooner. I have cherished your friendship throughout the years and I always looked forward to sharing a dance with you at every ball. I should have seen this sooner. I should have seen you for who you were sooner and I do not know what I can do to make it up to you, but I am going to try every day of my life to do so. I want you and I need you, Pen. I love you with every bone in my body and I want to marry you. Please, marry me.” Colin had to get these words off his chest. They were burning a hole in his heart and he would have exploded if he did not say them. He was unsure if she was going hear them, but he felt a weight lifted once he said what he should have said earlier.

“Colin,” she said. Her voice was hoarse and very quiet, but it was something.

“Oh, Pen, I’m so relieved you’re awake,” he said. He reached for a glass of water to give to her, “Here, you have to drink more water. Doctor’s orders.”

She graciously accepted the water and drank the whole glass. With Colin’s help she managed to position herself into a seated position on the bed.

“How are you feeling?” he asked.

“Yes, Colin,” she said.

“I’m sorry, what?” he asked. “Yes, what?”

“Mrs. Penelope Bridgerton does have a certain ring to it,” she replied. She smiled at him and knew she gave him just what he needed in that moment.

“Well this was not how I envisioned you answering the question,” he said.

“Then ask me again.”

“Miss Penelope Featherington, will you do me the greatest honor of my life and marry me?” he asked.

“I would love nothing more than to marry you, Colin Bridgerton,” she said. “I love you.”

Colin gently reached up to cup her face so he could plant a soft kiss on her lips. He pulled away so he could take in the gorgeous face of his bride to be.

“You know, I believe you were always meant to be a Bridgerton and I am so excited to be able to be the man to make it happen for you,” he said.

It was Penelope’s turn to initiate the next move between them. She reached up with her free hand to comb through Colin’s hair and gently pulled him close to her. She planted her own soft kiss on his lips and wished she could do more, but she did not want to do it in her best friend’s room when anyone of the Bridgerton family members could walk in.

“Did you mean everything you said?” she asked.

“You heard everything I said?”

“You did not answer my question.”

“I meant it all, Pen. Every last word of it and so many more,” he said.

“So, what do you exactly have in mind to make it up to me?” she asked.

“Oh, well I’m not sure, but I believe I can come up with a few ideas,” he said.

“I think I may have a few ideas of my own, but I do not think we can do them under your family’s roof. I do believe that we will need our privacy.” Penelope did not know what had gotten into her, but she knew whatever she felt during their first kiss was what she needed to feel again.

“I do believe that privacy is something I can give you, my soon to be Mrs. Bridgerton.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this latest chapter of the story. I do apologize if there are any typos. I did proof read it before I posted, but I also stared at this chapter for longer than I expected and just needed to post it before I rewrote it another time. I look forward to hearing what you all have to say about it.


	8. Are We Doing This?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Plans start to take form and things starting looking up for everyone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have to apologize for not updating soon. I've had a lot on my plate lately and I couldn't get the end of this chapter perfect. I think I found a ending that I'm happy with, but please let me know what you think. I also want to let you know that we are getting closer to the Queen's debut, I hope you are all excited for that.
> 
> There also may be more grammar mistakes in this one because I did post it with few edits. I wanted to get it to you all as soon as I could and I will probably read through it tomorrow and comb through for mistakes, but if you notice something point it out to me.

_At the Dinner Table_

“Will your brother be joining us?” Violet asked.

“No, he wanted to stay with Penelope,” Anthony said. “He said he would eat once he knew she was doing better.”

Violet was seated at the head of the table with Gregory and Hyacinth on either side of her. Eloise was next to Hyacinth and Benedict sat across from her. Daphne and Simon sat next to one another on the same side as Eloise. Anthony took his spot at the other end of the table and noted the empty chairs next to Benedict. The chairs in which Colin and Penelope could have been sitting if circumstances were different.

Dinner was served and placed in front of everyone, but no one really ate anything. Gregory was playing with his food like normal and throwing peas at Hyacinth, but everyone else just sat there. Anthony wanted to confront the Queen about what had happened, but it would involve spilling Penelope’s secret and he could not do that without her permission. He was angry at everything that Queen had caused and if it were anyone else, he would make them pay for it. Yet, this was the Queen and he could not simply just may her pay for her actions.

“What are we doing?” Eloise asked. She could not handle the silence anymore.

“Darling, what do you mean?” Violet asked.

“How can we just sit here and do nothing? How come we have not come up with some way to help Penelope out of this situation?”

“Eloise, do you truly believe that we are doing nothing?” Benedict asked.

“You do not get a say in this. You have not even been home today and God only knows what was so important you had to sneak out for,” she said.

“Eloise, do not talk to your brother like that,” Violet said.

“Mother, she’s hurt and frustrated,” Daphne said. “She has a right to be angry right now, but I do believe she should not take it out on Benedict. But she has a point. We have not come up with a viable solution to this situation.”

“I would welcome any suggestions any of you have,” Anthony said.

“Why can we not just tell everyone she’s Lady Whistledown?” Eloise asked. “We all found out she was and none of us were angry with her, were we?”

“Penelope is Lady Whistledown?” Gregory and Hyacinth asked.

“Simon, I do believe you said there was something you wanted to show Gregory and Hyacinth,” Daphne said. She nudged her husband and he coughed.

“I did,” he started and Daphne just glared at him. “Oh, right. Yes, would you two please follow me. I have a surprise I wanted to share with you.”

Simon escorted them out of the dining room to give the adults time to talk.

“Eloise, she has not answered that from the first time you asked,” Anthony said.

“And none of you have answered whether or not you were angry with her when you found out about it.” Eloise waited for any one of them to answer. She bounced from glaring at Anthony, to looking at her mother and sister.

“Well I for one will say that at first I was a little surprised, but after taking it all in and looking back to what she had written at the beginning, I’m rather proud of her,” Benedict said. “She had the courage to write what everyone was thinking. I think, like we’ve discussed in the past, nothing she has ever written has been false.”

“Exactly, Penelope took a chance at putting these thoughts out into society and they have paid off for her. She has gotten the town talking about these things and paying closer attention to their surroundings. She’s making people think and I agree that I’m proud of her,” Violet said.

“So, if this is how we reacted to the truth, why would the town act any different. Everyone wants to know her true identity and that is something that we can give them. We can control how the truth is revealed,” Eloise said.

“What about the Queen?” Anthony asked. “We do not know what her true intentions were that night she sent the Bow Street Runners. We have no idea what is going on in her mind or what she would do to Penelope if she found out the truth. Do we really want to risk Penelope’s safety?”

“I have not heard any other option, brother, so what do you suggest we do?” Eloise wanted to help Penelope and she felt like she was the only one.

“Eloise, we are trying to find the best solution for her,” Anthony responded.

“Well you are not doing a good job at that.”

“Eloise, that is enough,” Violet said. “We are all trying our best to be here for Penelope and I know you are hurting, but you need to stop attacking you brothers.”

“What if we invite the Queen for tea?” Daphne asked.

“Do you really think she would come over for tea?” Benedict asked.

“If she was so concerned with the identity of Lady Whistledown before and she now knows that we have a connection to her, then I do not see why she would not at least entertain the idea.”

“What do you think having tea with the Queen will do?” Violet asked.

“We can use it as a way to gauge whether she’s angry with Lady Whistledown or simply curious with her.” Daphne felt like it was at least a chance that they needed to take.

“There is no guarantee that she will provide any of the answers we seek though,” Eloise said.

“But if we do not try, then we will never know the answers all the same. We have to try. If you think it will help, I can request that Simon be the one to invite her here. She may be more willing if it comes from the Duke.”

“Do we really have anything to lose?” Benedict asked.

“Maybe we should run the idea past Penelope. This is her life that we are dealing with here,” Violet said.

“Great idea, mother. I shall go ask right away,” Anthony said. He rose from his chair and started to make his way back upstairs 

“Is she awake?” Violet asked. “I thought she had fainted again.”

“That is correct,” Anthony said. He sat back down in his chair.

“We should try to eat then,” Violet said. “We have something planned out and until we know Penelope is awake, we should try to keep our own strength up.”

“You are right, mother,” Anthony said.

Daphne fetched Simon and the children so they could return to the table and finish their dinner. The family picked at their dinner plates and made little small talk for the duration of dinner. They all managed to eat something and restrained from fighting at the dinner table. Gregory and Hyacinth retired to the drawing room after dinner to play. Violet followed them with Eloise in tow. Anthony remained at the dinner table with Benedict, Daphne and Simon.

“Do you honestly think that we can convince the Queen to come here?” Anthony asked Daphne.

“I believe that we have to try,” Daphne responded. She turned toward Simon, “Do you think that the Queen would be more likely to accept an invitation from the Duke as opposed to just the Bridgerton family?”

“I believe that my relationship with Lady Danbury might come to be useful for that,” Simon said. “Lady Danbury and the Queen have a relationship, so I feel like if I were to send an invitation, she might be curious enough to accept it.”

“Excellent, then it is settled,” Daphne said.

“Sister, we have not gotten Penelope’s permission yet,” Anthony reminded her.

“Simon can at least write the invitation so we have it prepared for when she says yes,” Daphne said.

“If she says yes,” Benedict corrected.

“I feel as though I may be able to convince Penelope to say yes if she is having concerns about the idea,” Daphne said.

“Do you think yourself to be persuasive, sister?” Benedict asked.

“I’m very persuasive when I need to be, brother.”

“I think it may be time that someone check on our dear brother and Penelope,” Anthony said.

“I will go check on them,” Daphne said. She was up and out of her chair before anyone could say another word. Anthony quickly got up to follow her, he did not want her to ambush them upstairs with their plan.

“Daphne, wait,” he said. “We need to gauge the situation up there before we blurt out our idea.”

“Do you not think I know that?” she asked. “Brother, I believe myself to be able to read a room far better than you can.”

“Just let me do the talking when we get up there,” he said.

Daphne hated that Anthony always thought he knew what was best. She was very capable of handling difficult and sensitive situations as well. This being somewhat of both. Yet, she followed her brothers led when they arrived upstairs. Anthony knocked lightly on door before opening the door.

“Oh good, you are awake. We were all worried about you Penelope,” Anthony said.

“Yes, and we have something we’d like to discuss with you,” Daphne said.

“Daphne, what did I say?” He glared at her.

“What do you have to discuss?” Penelope asked.

“May I?” Daphne asked. Anthony nodded knowing that she was just going to continue anyway. “We had an idea about getting the Queen off your back, well off Whistledown’s back.”

“What?” Colin asked.

“We wanted to invited the Queen to tea.” Daphne suggested.

“Are you mad? You want to bring the Queen here? To Penelope?” Colin asked.

“Well, we would not tell her that Penelope is here or that she is Whistledown. We were more thinking about gathering information from her on why she wants to know the identity of Whistledown."

“Would she come?” Penelope asked.

“You cannot be serious, Pen. You want to bring her here?” Colin could not believe she was considering this. There was no way that this would end well for them.

“I do not see the harm in inviting her. I mean you all wanted to tell everyone who I was anyways, so why not bring the Queen right to me,” Penelope said.

“That was Eloise’s idea,” Colin said.

“You did not disagree with her if I recall. In fact, I think you suggested it might be a good idea,” Penelope said.

“We would not have to tell her right away. We could figure out what she wants with Whistledown first,” Daphne suggested.

“Yes, then. Write to her and see if she even responds. We can go from there I suppose,” Penelope responded.

“Pen, are you sure about this?” Colin asked.

“Colin, this is part of my life. I think I have the right to decide what we do about it.”

“You should not have to protect yourself. You are going to be my wife and it is my job to protect you,” Colin said.

“Wife?” Daphne asked. “Are you two to be married?”

“I said yes to his proposal just before you walked in the door, but I’m rethinking that response at the present moment,” Penelope said.

“You would not go back on your word,” Colin said.

“Then you have to respect my wishes. I do not want to change who I am when I get married. I want to still make my own choices and I want to still be my own person.”

“I do not want you to change who you are when we get married. I love who you are. I just want you to let me protect you and be there for you when things get difficult. You have to let others help you, Pen,” Colin said.

“And I believe that is what I am doing by allowing them to write to the Queen,” Penelope said. “Can we just let them do this and see what happens. I promise to stay up here the whole time.”

“You promise?” he asked.

“Yes, I promise.”

“Then it is settled. We will send a letter right away,” Anthony said.

_______________________________________________

Eloise needed some time alone with her best friend. Penelope was hers first after all and she had so many questions she needed answers to. She waited in the drawing room for a little bit with her mother and younger siblings before she followed her older siblings upstairs. She wanted to see Penelope right away, but she knew Anthony and Daphne needed to set their plan in motion. When she arrived outside her bedroom Anthony and Daphne were exiting. Anthony was on a mission, so she pulled Daphne aside.

“Daphne, help me. I want a moment alone with Pen, but Colin will not leave her side,” Eloise said.

“No problem, Eloise. Let me handle Colin. You deserve a moment alone with our new sister,” Daphne responded.

“He asked her?” Eloise asked.

“And she said yes,” Daphne answered.

“Well now that is another thing I have to speak with her about,” Eloise said.

Daphne walked back into the room with Eloise. There was not going to be a good way to get Colin out of the room, so she just said what came first.

“Colin, can I speak with you in the hallway?” she asked.

Colin gave her a quizzical look, but Penelope pushed him towards her. “Go on. I’ll be fine.”

Daphne pulled him outside the room and closed the door.

“What is it?” Colin asked. He was annoyed at being brought out to the hall. This was not where he wanted to be.

“Oh, nothing. I do not actually need anything, but Eloise would like to have a moment with her best friend. You are going to have Penelope for the rest of your lives. I believe you can give our sister some time with her,” Daphne said.

Colin hesitated, but knew Daphne was right, “I suppose you are right, sister.”

“I also believe you have not eaten dinner. I do not know how you have gone this long without complaining of starvation,” Daphne said.

“It was not on my mind at the time, but now that you have brought it up,” Colin said.

“Then let us give them some time to talk and we can get you food,” Daphne said.

They walked off down the hall, but could already hear Eloise rattling off question after question.

“Pen, we have so much to discuss. I’m mad that I did not come up with the whole Whistledown thing first, but I’m so proud of you and happy it turned out to be you. How did you come up with the idea? Did you have any help? What is the process like? Like how do you gather so much detailed information?” Eloise was out of breath and Penelope felt like she was too just from looking at Eloise.

“El, you need to breathe,” Penelope said. “I will answer all of your questions, so do not fret.” 

“Why not just start from the beginning and if I have further questions I will ask,” Eloise said. She sat in the chair next to the bed and looked like a small child waiting for their parent to explain something to them.

“Well, I know you may not think so, but I can go unnoticed when out in society. Even with mother’s outrageously colored gowns, I’m kind of a wallflower. I stand on the side at all the balls and just watch. I can literally be standing next to someone and not be seen, so people carry on like I am not there. I hear a lot of talk when I am invisible. As for deciding to write it all down as Whistledown, it was not something I decided on a whim. I felt like I had things to say and everyone in this town loves to gossip, so I figured why not try it. When the column first went big, I felt like I finally belonged in this town, even if people did not know my name, they read my words.” Eloise took this all in and nodded at Penelope to continue. “I have a publisher I work with and they helped me out quite a bit. I do not remember everything word for word as it happened because there are far too many things talked about at the balls. I try to decide what would cause the most stir and focus on those things. I do write on my dance cards sometimes so I can remember things later. I rarely get asked to dance so I have the whole thing to write down my notes.”

“You have a whole business planned out because you are invisible to others?” Eloise asked.

“I mean, yes. El, I’m not a Bridgerton. People do not go out of their way to ask me to dance or even to talk to me, so to make the balls more enjoyable this is what I came up with. Gossip runs the town, so I ran along with the town,” Penelope said.

“Pen, I never knew you felt like this. I have always noticed you,” she said.

“El, you are my best friend. I would be angry with you if you did not notice me.”

“You will always belong here, Pen. Do not think that you do not belong ever again. But I think you got something wrong,” Eloise said.

“What?” Penelope asked.

“You are a soon to be Bridgerton,” Eloise responded. “When were you going to tell me that we are going to be sisters?”

“You are not mad?”

“Why would I be mad? I mean, I think you could have done a bit better than Colin, but that is not my decision. I am so happy that you are going to be an official part of this family. This is where you belong. This is where you will always belong,” Eloise said.

“I am so relieved. I was so worried you were not going to take the news well,” Penelope said.

“Well, I am a bit irritated that Colin believes you are only his. He has been glued to your hip since everything happened. I was hurting just as much as he was and I wanted to be by your side to help you through all of this. I still want to be by your side as you heal through all of this,” Eloise said.

“And I promise you will be. I do not want you go through this anymore alone and I cannot imagine going through this without you by my side. Colin will just have to accept that you were in my heart first. If he knows what is good for him, he will accept it,” Penelope said.

“I am so happy to hear you say that.” Eloise had one last question she needed answered though, “Have you thought about what I suggested before? About telling everyone you are Whistledown?”

“I have given it some thought and I am still not sure. I am not sure that everyone will take it as well as you all have. I have insulted a lot of people and I do not know how forgiving they will be,” Penelope responded.

“I do not entirely believe you insulted them, you have merely said what everyone is thinking and you have told the truth. You literally have made remarks about your own family, I do not believe you have insulted anyone more than your own family, more than yourself. I believe that when the truth comes out, if you want it to, that people are going to be more welcoming of the news than you believe.” Eloise grabbed Penelope’s hand in her own and gave her the biggest smile. “Pen, I believe you have been a bit harsh on yourself in the columns and I need you to know that you are beautiful, both on the inside and the outside. I could not imagine having a better friend than you.”

Both Eloise and Penelope teared up. This conversation was turning into a far more emotional one than Eloise first believed. She wanted Penelope to see what she saw in her. Penelope was far more than she believed herself to be. She was more gorgeous than she gave herself credit for. Her mother was wrong about her in ever way. Her mother did not deserve to have Penelope, but Eloise will admit Portia’s only good quality was bringing Penelope into this world.

“Pen, I never intended to make you cry. I am sorry,” Eloise said.

“El, it is quite alright. These are happy tears. I have never thought of myself in the way you described. I never thought I mattered in society and you have shown me a different side. You have shown me that I do matter and I cannot thank you enough for that.”

“You have always mattered, Penelope, and you always will matter,” Eloise responded.

“If you think that revealing my secret identity will be good for me, then I trust you, but we have to really think about how we reveal it. I do not want to make a big deal about it and I do not want your family to go to more trouble for me,” Penelope said.

“Like it or not you are officially part of this family now and you are granted the same kind of protection as any of us other Bridgertons, so we will do what we have to in order to guarantee your safety. You will never be alone,” Eloise said.

“You have no idea how much that truly means to me. I love your family so much, and it has always been my dream to be part of this family.” Penelope pulled Eloise into a hug. She never wanted to let go of this family.

“Pen, I almost forgot, what did you say to Anthony regarding the Queen? Is she going to be coming here?” Eloise asked.

“I told them to send the letter, but I promised I would not go anywhere near the Queen,” Penelope answered.

“Let me guess, Colin?”

“Yes, I promised him I would stay up here. I do not want to stay up here, but I know I have to pick my battles. El, you have to be there. I need to know everything she says and I know you would never leave any detail out,” Penelope said.

“I would not miss an opportunity to speak with the Queen, so you have my word that I will tell you everything. I promise,” Eloise said.

“Thank you. What would I do without you?”

“Probably go insane.” They both laughed because they knew Eloise was right.

“El, can you do me a favor?” Penelope asked.

“Of course, what did you need?”

“Food,” Penelope said.

“Oh my, that is right. You must be starving, why did you not say something sooner?” Eloise asked.

“You wanted answers,” she replied.

“I will ring for a maid to bring your dinner up here.”

“Thank you, El.”

Eloise left the room to ring for a maid, but she was back before Penelope could really think. Penelope had not truly realized how hungry she was. Her mind was moving so fast before that food was not on it. She drank some more water with the help of Eloise filling her glass up once she finished it. She knew that she had to drink more because she needed her strength moving forward.

“Are you comfortable, Pen?” Eloise asked.

“I am, but I do not like that I am keeping you away from your bed. I cannot think that the cot is comfortable for you. Is there another room I can move to?”

“I do not mind sleeping on the cot. I only care that you are safe and comfortable,” Eloise replied.

“It would make me feel better if I gave you your room back though. I still do need my personal space and I am sure you do as well.”

“I will ask, but I am more than happy to share my room.”

“Thank you.”

A maid had brought a try of food up for Penelope by now and Eloise helped her as much as she could. On the tray were rolls, soup and an assortment of vegetables. Penelope had to start pretty basic with food. She had not eaten anything for almost two days at this point and she could not afford to make herself sick by eating something that was too much for her stomach to handle. She did not manage to eat a lot of what was on the tray, but she felt like she had enough to hold her over until the morning. She had another glass of water with her food and was feeling a lot better.

“El, I need to get up. I need to walk around. I do not like being stuck in here,” Penelope said.

“Alright, what would you like me to do. I can help you get up and we can take a walk down the hall. Tell me what you want,” Eloise responded.

“I would actually really like to get some fresh air. Do you think we could take a walk in the garden?” Penelope asked.

“I do not think that is a good idea, Pen. You have not regained all of your strength and that is a long walk to begin with. We could walk to the library,” Eloise suggested.

“Well, I supposed that is better than nothing.”

Eloise helped Penelope put her slippers on and she anchored herself by the side of the bed so Penelope could hold onto her as she got up.

The library was just around the corner from Eloise’s room. Penelope always loved to read and the Bridgertons had a gorgeous library filled with many books she enjoyed. It was a short walk, but Eloise insisted on helping Penelope the whole way. Penelope felt like she was suffocating a bit with everyone hovering.

“El, you know I was shot in my shoulder not my leg. I can walk,” Penelope said. “I’ve eaten and I’ve had some water. I feel I have some of my strength back already.”

“But you are not fully healed and what if you faint again?” Eloise asked.

“I promise to let you know if I feel dizzy or nauseous, just please let me walk on my own,” Penelope responded.

Eloise reluctantly let go of her grip on her friend, but never took her eyes off of her. She would not forgive herself if she let anything else happen to Penelope. Colin would not forgive her either.

“Any hint that you are not feeling well, you must tell me,” Eloise said. “This is already a bad idea and if Colin caught us, he would be angry.”

“I am not his wife yet, El. I am capable of making my own decisions and even when I become his wife, I will still make my own decisions,” Penelope said.

“Have you told him that yet?” Eloise asked.

“No, but I do not believe I will have to. He knows how head strong I am and if he knows what is good for him, he’ll allow me my free will.” Penelope was not going to change who she was for anyone. She believed Colin knew her well enough to know that.

Eloise lit some candles for them to use in the library. The room was not used often, so there were not candles light regularly. Penelope scanned the wall of books and spotted a collection of Shakespeare’s sonnets. She always loved to read sonnets and Shakespeare was one of the bests. She grabbed the book and sat down on the nearby couch. Eloise watched Penelope and it almost felt like she had her back, like she was almost back to normal.

“Pen, can you promise me one more thing?” Eloise asked. 

“What’s that, El?”

“Promise me that I will not lose you,” Eloise said.

“El, you are not going to lose me because I marry Colin.”

“I do not care about Colin. I mean your Whistledown life,” Eloise said.

“I believe my Whistledown days might be over,” Penelope said. She did not want to give up Whistledown, but she did not know how she would be able to continue if they were going to tell everyone the truth. “I do not see how I can continue if we are to go ahead with your plan.”

“I do not want you to give her up. Is there not a way to continue the Whistledown column?”

“How can I continue? Once people know I am her they will not speak to me, not that they spoke to me to begin with, but I will no longer be invited to events and therefore no longer have access to any information.”

“Then we will not tell everyone, Pen. We will call off this whole thing with the Queen. I cannot have you giving this up,” Eloise said.

“El,” Colin said. Both Penelope and Eloise jumped at the sound of his voice. “It is too late to call it off.”

“Colin, what are you talking about?” Eloise asked.

“Simon wrote to the Queen and it has been sent. If she accepts the invitation, which we are sure she will, she will be here the day after tomorrow and she will not do kindly to us cancelling,” Colin explained.

“Colin, we cannot just let Pen give this up. She is an excellent writer and everyone loves her column. There has to be something else we can do,” Eloise said.

“El, this was your plan. You were the one to suggest this. I do not think we have any other choice now that it has been put into motion,” he responded.

“There is one thing we may be able to do,” Penelope said. “We tell only the Queen.”

“She most likely still angry with you, do you think that is wise?” Colin asked.

“We do not have a choice, correct? Why not form an alliance with the Queen? She wants the attention, and if I have to give up writing this column, she will not get the attention she wants. I do believe she is angry because nothing was written about her lunch, and the only reason there was no mention of the event was because I was not there,” Penelope said.

“That is right. Your family was sent away because of the whole Marina situation,” Eloise responded.

“Yes, because of that I was not given the firsthand experience I am sure the Queen was looking for,” Penelope said. She turned to Colin and knew how he would react at her next request, but it was the only thing she could think of to solve her problem. “Colin, I know you did not want me to see the Queen while she is here, but I do not believe we have a choice if I want to continue to write.”

“Pen, no, we do not know what kind of state she is in. We do not know if she wants you dead or locked up. We cannot put you in danger like that,” Colin responded.

“We have to take the chance. If she meets with Anthony, Simon and the rest of your family first, then we can see what kind of state she is in. I am sure that Anthony and Simon can be persuasive if we need them to be and swing the Queens opinion in our favor. She is a smart woman and I am almost certain she would not decline an alliance if it were in her best interests,” Penelope said.

“Colin, you can wait up here with Pen while the rest of us meet with the Queen and once I am certain she does not want to kill Pen, I can come get you two to join the meeting,” Eloise offered.

“Colin, please, I do not want to retire the Whistledown column just yet and if we have a way to solve this we have to try.”

“Any hint that the Queen will not be so agreeable to the alliance, we will not reveal her identity,” Colin said.

“Thank you,” Penelope said.

“What are you two doing in here anyways? You should still be resting.”

“I needed to walk. I needed to get out of Eloise’s room. I did not feel comfortable in there anymore. Eloise has taken great care of me,” Penelope said. “El, have you heard news of a new room?”

“A new room?” Colin asked. He was not surprised she requested a new room, if anything, this was going to make it easier for him to get her to stay with him.

“I cannot continue to use Eloise’s room any longer. I do not feel great about her sleeping on a cot, so I asked her if she could have the staff find another room for me,”

“I am not sure, but let me go check with them.” Eloise left her brother and Penelope alone in the library.

“You can stay in my room. We are to be married after all. I am sure no one would care.” Colin closed the distance between him and Penelope. He reached for her hand and gave her knuckles a light kiss.

“Colin, stop. We are not married yet and if anyone should see that is not your family what would we do?” Penelope asked.

“Considering that no one other than family and our staff are allowed in these halls until we get this Whistledown situation handled I would say we are good. Besides, I plan to marry you as soon as possible.” He placed another kiss on Penelope’s hand and several up her arm until he reached her neck. She craned her neck to allow him access and only wished they were married already. He pulled her closer to him and placed a gentle kiss on her lips. They separated slightly and locked eyes. He saw the want in her eyes and wished he could have given her more in that moment, but the whole being shot in the shoulder the night before hindered everything he wanted to do to her.

“Colin, we should be more careful in public spaces. Eloise will be back any moment,” Penelope said.

“Well, I can fix that issue by locking the door,” he said. He broke away from Penelope as if he were going to lock it.

“Why would you need to lock the door, brother?” Eloise had reappeared in front of them.

“Oh, no reason, El,” Penelope said. “He was only joking. Any rooms available for me?”

“The only room available is Anthony’s old room, but that is all the way across the house and I do not want you that far away. I am fine with you staying in my room. I really do not mind the cot,” Eloise said.

“El, would you be opposed to her staying in my room?” Colin asked.

“Are you trying to steal my best friend already? She is not your wife yet,” Eloise said.

“You are correct, but she will be and when she is, we will share a bed eventually. This way she will not be across the house, you can have your bed bad because I know you are only pretending to be fine with the cot, and I get to keep a close watch on her. We all win,” Colin said.

“Penelope, are you fine with this?” Eloise asked.

“He has a point, but we should make sure Violet will not be opposed. I do not want to do anything she does not agree with,” Penelope said. She wanted more than anything to be alone with Colin, but she did not want to do anything to upset Violet. Violet has been so gracious with her hospitality and Penelope was not going to take that for granted.

“Mother has already agreed to it, as long as you were good with it,” Colin said.

“What?” Eloise asked. Penelope also questioned it, but Eloise was faster to expressing her confusion.

“I spoke with her when I went to eat downstairs. She asked how you were doing and she worried about you too, Eloise. She was fine with you sleeping on the cot last night, but she knows they are not the most comfortable things. I suggested that Penelope stay in my room and she protested at first, but I reminded her we will be married soon. I also promised her that nothing was going to happen between us,” Colin said.

“What would possibly happen between you two?” Eloise asked.

Penelope felt like she had grown so much more in the past few hour than Eloise. Eloise had no idea what had happened already between Colin and Penelope. As far as Penelope knew, Eloise has had no feelings toward anyone and could not understand what Colin did to her. Penelope would make sure to have a conversation with her later on when things had died down.

“Nothing, El. He is thinking way to far ahead. I would be fine with sharing your room, Colin. I want to give El her room back and if she insists on having me close by then this will have to do,” Penelope said. She knew Eloise would not let them give up on Colin’s comment, but if she acted as if she were too tired to continue, Eloise might let it slide for tonight. “Shall we make our way out? it is getting late and I think I’d like to go to bed.”

“Of course, and I have already had your things move to my room,” Colin said.

“Were you sure I was going to say yes to staying in your room?” Penelope asked.

“I was hopeful,” he said.

“Eloise, thank you for everything tonight. I could not have gone through any of this without you,” Penelope said. She gave Eloise a hug as best as she could and the three of them made their way out of the library. Penelope still had the book of Shakespeare’s sonnets in her hand and had planned to read a bit before she actually went to bed.

They parted ways with Eloise at the corner of the hallway and Colin led Penelope to his room. He had hoped he would be sharing a bed with Penelope under more romantic circumstances, but he was thankful enough he was sharing his bed with her at all after almost losing her. The fireplace in Colin’s room was roaring and there were a few candles lit by the bed. It was almost as if he had attempted to make it as romantic as he could, given what he had to deal with.

“Colin, your room is rather cozy and I would almost say romantic?” she said with a questioning tone.

“Well, I mean it could be romantic if we want it to be,” he said. He grabbed Penelope’s waist and spun her around to face him.

“I would love for us to have a more romantic moment, but I do not think we can with your whole family just down the hall. Besides, I am sure it will be worth the wait,” she said. She leaned up and placed a kiss on his cheek.

“You are tempting fate,” he said. His whole face lit up when she kissed him. The heat between them was almost too much for him to handle.

“Am I?” she asked. She broke away from his hold and teased him with her eyes.

“You are truly going to make me suffer, are you not?” he asked.

“You have years to make up for, so I would say you can handle this,” she responded.

“And I am truly sorry for not realizing how wonderful and gorgeous and how madly in love I am with you sooner. I cannot wait to make everything up to you,” he responded.

“While that sounds like it will be amazing, I am a bit tired and would love to just relax with you,” Penelope said.

“Then allow me,” he said. He swooped Penelope up and carried her the rest of the way to his bed. He placed her on the left side of the bed so her right arm was free of him. He did not want to accidently hurt her in the middle of the night.

“I will be right back,” Colin said. He had never shared his bed with a woman he truly loved and he did not want to do anything to mess it up. He normally slept with minimal clothing on, but tonight was not that kind of night. Penelope was a lady and there was no chance of them doing anything physical tonight. He put on a loose pair of trousers and decided to leave his shirt off. He might get some physical action tonight.

He walked back to his bed and did not expect to see what he saw. Penelope was completely passed out. She had an exhausting couple of days and if he was being honest with himself, he was surprised she had made it this long. She had fallen asleep with the book of Shakespeare’s sonnets on her lap. He did not think he was gone that long while changing, but she must have been that exhausted. He carefully grabbed the book off of her and placed it on the side table. She was still on top of the covers, so he gently swooped her legs up and pulled the covers out from under her. He placed her legs back down and laid the covers over her. He made sure her head was not propped up too much and then placed a kiss on her forehead. He blew the candles out and then crawled into bed on his side. He laid on his side for a while just watching Penelope sleep. He was going to get used to doing this for the rest of his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this newest addition to the story. As always please let me know what you think in the comments.


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